How the grift stole Christmas

 That's it?

That's the big unveiling?  Trading cards?  Poorly made ones?

For $99 you get a digital trading card you can stare at.  You don't even get to be in his next cabinet.  Or a Special Senior Adviser to replace the faithless Ivanka.  Or a plus-one-nazi dinner at the Mar.

When Trump teased this Yuge Announcement I was really hoping it would include the words "pancreatic cancer."  It's rarely diagnosed in early stages.  I assume Trump's doctors are no more impressive than his lawyers.  Of course, given his diet, colon cancer is more likely, but I'm always chasing rainbows.  Pancreatic cancer took Alan Rickman, John Lewis and Alex Trebek.  Pancreatic cancer owes us one.

As a member of Spinal Tap astutely observed, "There's a fine line between clever and stupid."  The consensus is that this is Stupid.  Some of the faithful can't believe it's not a Liberal Plot to make Trump look like an idiot.  Over on CNN Trump-whisperer Maggie Haberman couldn't understand why he's "done no events" since the locked-doors announcement.  Kaitlan Collins reported hearing "screams from Mar a Lago" over DeSantis's poll numbers and Don Lemon crowed, "I feel like kind of who cares?  Out of sight, out of mind."  Rallies are expensive when you don't have the government providing transportation and security, especially when cities you ripped off in the past are demanding payment up front.  

And there's the little matter of impending indictments.  Was that "low-energy" announcement event just a ploy to evade the law a little longer?  Is it working?  Mr. Smith?

 

  In normal times I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone.  The times have changed me, not for the better.  

Here they are.  You have been warned.