Fat Leonard escapes!

 Leonard Glenn Francis -- "Fat Leonard" to his friends (I guess) -- sawed through his ankle monitor and skipped town today.  You may remember him from the 2015 scandal where he pleaded guilty to bribing US Navy officers with cash, gifts and prostitutes to obtain contracts for his Singapore-based company.  He had been under house arrest since a diagnosis of cancer and was weeks away from being sentenced.  This was no last-minute bolt -- neighbors in San Diego report seeing U-Haul trucks outside his house.  I hope Mar a Lago is better guarded.

I was excited to learn that Liz Truss was chosen by a few hundred Tories to be their new prime minister because I thought someone would finally tackle the punctuation crisis at a national level.  It's almost impossible to read some stuff online.  It turns out I was thinking of Lynne Truss, author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves:  The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.  So we're right back, where we started from?  Climate-change skeptic Jacob Rees Mogg will now be in charge of business, energy and industrial strategy, so that's what to expect.  Always know where your towel is.

Truss is headed for Balmoral to introduce herself to the Queen, who decided it wasn't worth the trip to London.  (She is described as having "mobility issues," a polite way of saying she'd rather not be seen using a wheelchair.)  I don't know how much time HM spends online but someone found a video from 1994 of Truss, a student at Leeds University, calling it "disgraceful" that "people, because of the family they're born into, should be able to be the head of state."  They'll have lots to chat about.

In other election news, "Cowboys for Trump" founder Couy Griffin was removed from office, not by the other Cowboys but by Judge Francis J. Mathew, who says he can no longer be Commissioner of Otero County, New Mexico.  What's more, citing Section 4 of the Fourteenth Amendment, the judge says he's disqualified from holding any public office.  (Griffin took part in the 2021 coup attempt, refused to certify election results he didn't like and spread rumors about voting machines.)  More of this!

I'm trying to remember the movie where Groucho says, "These are my principles.  If you don't like them...well, I have others."  It's echoing through the Right in this election season.  First Blake Masters changed his mind about being "one hundred percent pro-life."  Then Ron Johnson was shocked, shocked than anyone could believe he wanted to end Social Security and Medicare as mandatory programs.  "All the Democrats can do is lie about me," he whimpered.  Now Mehmet Oz is trying to sidle away from Trump by contradicting his favorite lie:  "I would not have objected to [certifying the election]," he told Vaughn Hillyard.  "By the time the delegates and those reports were sent to the US Senate, our job was to approve it."  Maybe he didn't like his billing at Trumpsapalooza last Saturday, between Margie Greene and the guy who spins plates while the PA system blasts "Bad to the Bone."  (I'm guessing, I wasn't there.)  The surprise hit of the night was Hitler impersonator Timothy Hale-Cusanelli.  He's no Charlie Chaplin, or even Moe Howard.

Meanwhile superlawyer Alina Habba continues to try her client's case in the media, because frankly, where else does it have a chance?  She's thrilled that Judge Cannon has approved the "special master" to decide which top-secret documents could possibly be protected by attorney-client (or Putin-puppet) privilege, and she saw the cutest thing on Instagram suggesting some of those empty folders held "invisible" documents.  Isn't that funny?  She is a Real Lawyer.  

The Democrats have a hell of time coming up with catchy slogans.  In today's Guardian Lloyd Green has a suggestion:  JOBS NOT MOBS.   I like it.

An Israeli diplomat, speaking anonymously, objected to Empty Greene's tweet "Joe Biden is Hitler.  #NaziJoe has to go."  "As we face a rise in antisemitic incidents...rhetoric like this only fuels the persistent threat of hatred, extremism and violence."  Well put, Mr. (?) Diplomat, but I see where holders of foreign passports who visit the West Bank must "report their romantic relationships with Palestinians to Israeli authorities."  What the actual fuck, Mr. Diplomat?  And you don't legally recognize interfaith marriages?  Where have I heard that before?  

It's too bad voters don't like "angry politicians" like Joe Biden -- Sean Duffy says -- and prefer Trump the Voice of Reason.  Triggered, unhinged Trump is my favorite Trump and he almost spat out his dentures on Saturday at the thought of John Fetterman.  He "supports taxpayer funded drug dens and the complete decriminalization of illegal drugs, including heroin, cocaine, crystal meth and ultra lethal fentanyl!"  And takes them all himself!  He's a raging lunatic!  He wears a hoody!  He lived off his parents' money!  Has he ever tried to overthrow the government?  Then STFU, Donzo.