Points of light

 

Last Monday I would not have suggested looking to the People's Republic of Florida for anything hopeful.  But it's Thursday, and the primary results are in.  It's not as bad as you think.

This is Judge Jared Smith of Hillsborough County.  I should say "former judge," because the good people of Tampa and environs voted to replace him with attorney Nancy Jacobs, who probably doesn't need a shirt with JACOBS on it to remember her name.  The Tampa Bay Times, which endorsed Smith, thinks it has something to do with his ruling in January (pre-Dobbs) that a seventeen-year-old was not "mature" enough to terminate her pregnancy.  A higher court disagreed, and so have the voters.

The Florida 11th district (which includes the "Vote Early and Often for Trump" enclave known as The Villages) narrowly chose incumbent Daniel Webster in the primary over professional Islamophobe, white nationalist and hand-gluer Laura Loomer.  Webster is bad but Loomer is certifiable.  "I'm not conceding because I'm a winner!" she yelled before calling her party feckless and cowardly and, of course, claiming fraud.  Loomer is now free to pursue her career of being "the most banned woman" on the internet, with GoFundMe, Venmo, Paypal, Facebook, Instagram, Lyft and Uber among those cancelling her.  (She actually sued Twitter, claiming a vast Muslim conspiracy against her.)  Boebert, Greene, Gosar and the rest of the Crackpot Caucus will have to do without her, for now.

Recovering Republican Charlie Crist won the Democratic primary for governor, promising to overturn the state's fifteen-week abortion ban.  But first he'll have to get past this guy:

Governissimo and Tom Cruise cosplayer Ron DeSantis, the man who ended the Disney threat and made it possible for high school graduates to achieve their dream of becoming teachers.  And no, he was never an Air Force pilot.  But the most exciting candidate with the coolest name is Maxwell Alejandro Frost, who is 25 and will probably become the youngest member of Congress after winning the primary for the 10th district.  He wants Medicare for all, legalized sex work and marijuana, demilitarizing the police and restoring voting rights to ex-prisoners.

About those voting rights.  With much fanfare, DeSantis announced that 19 people had been charged with voting illegally (in a state with 21.2 million people).  It now appears that all of them believed they were allowed to vote, in some cases with confirmation from election officials.  Election laws can be maddeningly convoluted, as Pamela Moses learned in Tennessee.  Maybe someone should fix this.

This is interesting:  Up north in New York Democrat Pat Ryan won a special election for the 19th district (which is scheduled for demolition).  He ran against Dobbs and called Trump "essentially traitorous," which works for me.

Carl Paladino won't be joining the Crackpot Caucus either, losing his primary to Nick Langworthy.  I think it was his admiration for Hitler that did it, but I don't know much about upstate.

In Alaska, Democrat and native Yup'ik Mary Peltola is leading Sarah Palin.  Peltola has declined to attack Palin (we'll see if that's reciprocated) and talks a lot about fish.  The Alaskan fishing industry is suffering like other parts of the environment.  Peltola has led the Kuskokwim River Intertribal Fish Commission, which advocates for management of the salmon fisheries.  Palin, as we remember, likes to shoot game from a helicopter. 

As for the Number One Democrat, Joe Biden's approval rating is the highest it has been since June following passage of the Inflation Reduction Act, the PACT (burn pit) bill and his action to cancel student debt for millions.  The latter is being reviled by all the usual suspects as a second Bolshevik revolution and a gift to the "rich" at the expense of Joe and Jane Scratchcard, so...good times!  In other Biden news, two Florida sleazebags, Aimee Harris and Justin Kurlander, pleaded guilty to stealing Ashley Biden's diary from the house where she was staying and selling it to Project Veritas sleazebag James O'Keefe.  Apparently they tried to sell it to the Trump campaign but O'Keefe outbid them ($40,000).

(The pitcher's name is Justin Verlander.  I had to look it up.)

How about some Keystone news?  The state, not the Kops, although you might wonder.  Still covered in crudites, Mehmet Oz eventually thought of a comeback:  "If John Fetterman had ever eaten a vegetable in his life, then maybe he wouldn't have had a major stroke and wouldn't be in the position of having to lie about it constantly," his "senior communications adviser" Rachel Tripp said.  I'm old, so I can remember when Michelle Obama took all kinds of fertilizer for planting a vegetable garden on the White House property and encouraging children to eat salad.  Only three weeks ago mobs tried to burn down Cracker Barrel for adding a vegan sausage to the breakfast menu.  Now green is good?  I don't think that will resonate with the state that gave us Philly cheese steak and scrapple.

I wasn't aware that Fetterman was lying about his health.  Yesterday he tweeted, "I had a stroke.  I survived it.  I'm truly so grateful to still be here today.  I know politics can be nasty, but even then, I could never imagine ridiculing someone for their health challenges."  You know who could imagine it?  Who's the Foxnik who radiates good health?  SpongeShawn Squareface, of course.  Hannity sounded like he was having a stroke as he ranted about "trust fund brat...hoodie...lying...hoodie...raising money off my name...trust fund brat" and threatened legal action.  It was like having drunk Bill O'Reilly back.  

Next door at Tucker Carlson's House of White Power, the Swanson TV Dinners trust fund brat was losin' it over the plot to forgive student loan, because "student" means people who hate America and majored in BLM studies and become "Xanax-addicted robots with no job prospects."  (I don't know what it means either, who cares?)  Drugs and protest and hippie chicks on the pill, it's still 1968 for Tuckoo, bless his heart.  

Here are some elitist protesters, looking for a handout.

So much more -- Mike Pompeo's Garden of Gethsemane, the swatting of Empty Greene, the redacted search warrant and the world's longest cucumber will have to wait.  I'm working solo.