What'd I miss?

 As eventful week follows eventful week, there just isn't time for less consequential but fascinating events.  Which is why we have Saturday.

"The Congressional seat in Florida's 11th district is mine for the taking.  And I will be the Congresswoman from Florida's 11th district.  I actually am the Congresswoman in Florida's 11th district, and everyone knows it."

There's refusing to concede and then there's certifiably delusional.  Laura Loomer is packed and ready to move to Washington in January, when she will presumably handcuff herself to Kevin McCarthy and demand to be sworn in.  As for the minor detail of Rep. Webster, "His health is drastically failing, he is demented, looks ill, he can barely speak, he wears a life alert, and I am willing to bet he doesn't survive until his current term is over or he pulls an early retirement and the good old boys try to hand pick another corrupt successor...I will continue to push Daniel Webster to his absolute physical limits till he resigns in disgrace...now we go scorched earth on the GOP establishment and get even more aggressive in the America First hostile takeover of the Republican Party...luckily I have an army behind me."

Those men in the van are not an army, Blanche, they want to help you.  Go with them.  But by all means, more of this.  Let's have a fascist v. fascist no-holds-barred every day and two on Sunday until the last termite-riddled bits of the party of Goldwater, Reagan and Trump blow away in the next moderately big wind.

Doug Mastriano was an appalling white nationalist antisemite and QAnon follower before someone came across this interesting photo of him and his friends from the U.S. Army College in 2017.  That's him in the Johnny Reb costume.  Why anyone is surprised is surprising to me, but it's today's Big Deal.

Desperate to call attention to his big fat dud of a book, Jared Kushner told Premierecollectbles.com that he is working out more because there's an excellent chance he will live forever.  This is only going to reinforce the impression that he is an android.  A friend told two reporters, "It's like a tongue-in-cheek joke."  Yes, Lt. Cdr. Data never mastered humor either.

Editorial standards prevent this blog from posting the "Redact this!" crotch shot of his super-manly daddy posted by Junior Trump, but it's devastating.  Really.  A grown man reduced to begging his father for just a brief acknowledgment after all these years...But I like this one.

The administration of Northwest Public Schools in Grand Island, Nebraska, has opted out of the First Amendment, closing down the Saga newspaper after it printed an article called "Pride and Prejudice:  LGBTQIA+."  To their credit, the bigots did not pretend they did it for financial reasons.

Blake Masters, Trump-anointed candidate for the Senate in Arizona, wants it known that he listens to the voice of the people, especially the ones who shocked America by voting to keep abortion legal in Kansas.  Trailing Mark Kelly by ten points, Masters has decided he doesn't oppose all abortion, just "third-trimester partial-birth" abortion, which is a phantasm of the forced-birth crowd.  He is no longer "100% pro life" as he was last Thursday.  By October he may be escorting women into Planned Parenthood clinics, if there are any left in Arizona.  It's too bad he couldn't have helped Sabrina Enciso, who was injured in a car accident and concerned about a possible miscarriage.  She tried to enter a hospital in Doral, Florida (where she works), and was prevented by two Miami-Dade police.  It's being "investigated."  Mrs. Enciso is fine, thanks for nothing.

Maybe Masters can help Nancy Davis travel from Baton Rouge to North Carolina for a termination.  Ms. Davis has been told her fetus has no skull and will die in any case, but Louisiana wants her to give birth anyway because it's run by people even meaner than those in North Carolina.  If Blake Masters or anyone else wants to donate, there's a GoFundMe.   

In a related story, Luke Bowen, the former political director of Texas Right to Life, was arrested in Conroe for soliciting sex from a minor online.  Who's the groomer now, Luke?

Someone has been "swatting" Empty Greene at her home in Rome, Georgia.  Swatting is sending the police to someone's house on spurious grounds, usually in the hope of causing a violent entry by a SWAT team.  Don't do this.  I doubt Rome has more than one SWAT team.  What if there was a real emergency?