Remain calm

 I want to get back to my book so I'll be brief.  This is the world we occupy.

Last night President Biden delivered a passionate speech for action on gun control.  After he finished a man killed two women and himself in the parking lot of a church in Ames, Iowa.  Then two people were wounded at a funeral in Racine, Wisconsin.  Neither qualifies as a mass shooting, which requires a minimum of four.

It looks like more schools are arranging for more armed police.  Strangely, some Black parents do not find the prospect comforting.  Perhaps they are remembering the Black people who die from traffic stops, no-knock warrants and misdemeanor arrests every year.

The House Judiciary Committee held a hearing on Chairman Jerry Nadler's Protecting Our Kids Act, which would raise the AR-15-purchasing age to 21, among other features.  Republicans responded with their usual thoughtfulness, accusing the Democrats of trying to repeal the Second Amendment (God bless it!).  Then things got a little nutty.  Greg Steube Zoomed in from his home in Florida to display some of his favorite handguns because Nazi Pelosi won't let him bring them into the Capitol.  Ken Buck explained that in rural Colorado they need AR-15s to protect their chickens from raccoons* and extra magazines because they're lousy shots.  (I actually added that part.)  Tom McClintock of California described his state's mental health crisis which was certainly not created by the policies of Governor Ronald Reagan, and got extra points for mentioning Hunter Biden.  You need an assault rifle if a crazy person or a relative of Biden's jumps out at you.  ("Look out, he's got a laptop!")  

Then Louie Gohmert stepped into the spotlight for what theater people call his Eleven O'Clock Number, bringing in urban hellholes with Democrat mayors; Supreme Court decisions since the 1960s "that gave rise to people being taught in school that it's whatever you think feels good;" and the disgraceful way Joe Biden invokes the deity:  "We had a president in Franklin Roosevelt that on D-Day led the country in a 6-8 minute prayer for our troops.  Now we had a president come after Uvalde and he used god's name in vain.  It was used as an interjection, not as a source to beg for wisdom..."  Probably learned to pray in Latin like they do.  Louie not only praised FDR -- for one speech only, but still -- he also tacitly acknowledged that Biden is president.  That's how wound up he was.  Louie's departing the House next year, leaving a rhetorical trail that gleams like a snail's track.  He will be missed.  By someone.

The Tampa Bay Rays are learning the price of wokeness in the Republic of DeSantis.  They donated $50,000 to Everytown for Gun Safety and lost their future spring training facility.  Vengeful Ron has now vetoed $35 million for a Pasco County youth sports complex; the youth are out of luck because the Rays would have used it for two months a year.  Watch your step, Marlins.

John Hinckley, Jr., is about to be released from supervision, being judged no longer a danger to himself or others.  (If he makes a beeline for Jodie Foster's house...)  Hinckley spent the last four decades at St. Elizabeths Hospital for the Inconvenient, former residence of Ezra Pound.  This country has never been able to bring itself to execute traitors.  I mention him because his shooting of Ronald Reagan, James Brady and two Secret Service agents did little or nothing to move the needle on gun control, despite the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.  Reagan, like Steve Scalise, was willing to take one for the NRA team.

I'm tired of guns.  Let's see what the rest of the world is up to.  

St. Paul's Cathedral held a thanksgiving service for Queen Elizabeth II and she didn't attend.  At this point she appears to be all out of fucks to give.  She also blew off the State Opening of Parliament (her crown was there, sitting on her throne, taunting Prince Charles as he read the government's annual list of social service cutbacks) but attended the Windsor Horse Show.  Boris Johnson was greeted by boos, Keir Starmer by silence.  

The Spanish hospitality industry is plagued by a shortage of waiters.  Manuel!  How would you like a raise?

The hills are alive -- AAAGH!  That was how we sang it in my junior high school.  Now comes news that the Alps are turning green as their snowcap relentlessly melts.  But the heat death of the planet is an exciting time for paleontologists, archeologists and dinosaur-ologists, as preserved animals and artifacts from the Pleistocene era are revealed along with more recent decedents.  Not to mention microorganisms that will probably kick Ebola's ass.  Well, it was nice here on the third stone from the sun.

Lots of men -- well, Republicans -- were firin'-in-the-air thrilled by the verdict in the Depp-Heard trial  but some of them were just getting warmed up.  For example, white nationalist "commentator" Nick Fuentes commentated, "We need to go back to burning women alive more."  More?  

Betty White's Los Angeles house was sold for over $10.6 million to someone who plans to demolish it and build a new one.  Nothing will remove the smell of cats dating back to 1968.

Billy Long (R-MO) is not the first to blame mass shootings on women and their uppity abortions, but he has a completely workable plan for a second Trump administration:  1.  Get Kamala Harris to resign.  2.  Have Biden appoint Trump vice-president.  3.  Get Biden to resign.  4.  Finish Keystone XL.  5.  Finish the WALL.  Why stop there?  6.  Get all Jews to accept Christ.  7.  Armageddon.  I think someone needs to loosen Billy's collar.  Jeez, Missouri, Sam Clemens, Scott Joplin, Ginger Rogers, Charlie Parker and this guy?

Today's bonkers Nazi reference comes from Arizona Senate candidate Blake Masters, who says having to disclose his campaign donors is practically the same as Kristallnacht.  Trump will be endorsing him this week.  For once, I am not being snarky.

As with abortion law, the red states compete to see which can be cruelest and craziest.  A week after Indiana decided trans students can't compete in girls sports, the Ohio house said, "Yeah, well, we're gonna subject them to genital inspections.  Top that."  Someone will.

Now it's Istanbul, 'twas Constantinople, and  Turkey will henceforth be known as Turkiye, at least around the UN.  At this blog Erdogan will be known as Paul Ankara.  Pop music reference, he won't understand.

If Dianne Feinstein has to leave the Senate over possible dementia, so does Chuck Grassley.  Come on, he voted for the Smoot-Hawley tariff.

Where's that book?

*At her confirmation in 2017 (so under oath) Betsy DeVos said schools need guns because of the danger from grizzly bears.  Compared with raccoon panic, that nearly sounds sane.