Report from the bunker

 How are you enjoying the final days of civilization?  

Here are some reasons nineteen children, two teachers, the husband of a teacher and the teenage killer had to die:

Video games, legalized marijuana, rap music, bullying, no enforced school prayer, gay teachers, critical race theory, violent movies and television shows, the war in Ukraine, abortion, furries, leftist politicization and pornography.  So we need to get on that.

Here is why four people were killed yesterday at St. Francis Hospital in Tulsa:  The shooter's back hurt. Surgery had left him with pain and he was not satisfied with his post-operative treatment so he bought two guns, shot the place up and then killed himself.  He also killed the surgeon.  The guns were purchased legally.  Last week the governor of Oklahoma signed a bill outlawing abortion of any kind, so that will no longer cause mass murders anyway.

Are you worried about the monkey pox?  You probably should be, it's everywhere.  As far as I can determine, no one has died in the US yet, but WHO is being accused of homophobia for saying it seems to be spread through men having sex with men.  So take precautions, and stay away from the hepatitis strawberries, too.  Oh, and avoid the fake meat that Bill Gates is growing in "peachtree dishes," because it will give you "a little zap inside your body."  Congresswoman, that is exactly why I eat burgers.  

Do you work in news?  Do you want to be ready for the next Sandy Hook/Parkland event?  Missouri's Liberty Alliance has a resource for you, a map of schools promoting the "woke agenda" for the use of the next white teenager radicalized by pot and porn.  In the "Shoot Me" state it's not enough to pass "don't say gay" laws or forbid lessons about slavery like some wimpy places.  The best way to stop "crazy ideas" is to aim at the brains where they reside.  

Covid hospitalizations are up in forty-five states, but that's not important right now.  What's important is that the most harassed person of all time had a bad week.

That mysterious final sentence refers to the lengthy and expensive prosecution of a lawyer loosely connected to the 2016 Clinton campaign, Michael Sussman, by DOJ Trumpanzee John Durham for allegedly lying to the FBI about the Russia collusion.  You remember the Russia collusion.  ("No collusion!  No collusion!  You're the collusion!")  It took a D.C. jury about a New York minute to acquit Sussman, after which the foreperson remarked, "Personally, I don't think it should have been prosecuted."  But wait -- there's more.  Herschel Walker told someone called Killer Mike that it was solely his idea to enter politics and he's mad at Trump for taking credit.  (In fairness, Walker has said stuff that was not quite true before.  Like this dandy CNN headline:  "Herschel Walker falsely claims he never falsely claimed he graduated from University of Georgia.")  Also, Brad Raffensperger not only won his primary but testified to the grand jury investigating the "perfect call" where Trump asked him to falsify the 2020 election results.  Also the Pulitzer committee has ignored his demands that they strip the Washington Post and New York Times of awards their reporters won for covering the Russia investigation, so he'll be forced to sue them in order to "get my reputation back."  Why are you laughing?  I think his reputation (twice divorced, four-time bankrupt, one term, two impeachments) is safe insofar as nobody wants it.

So that's another week in our World Wide Bunker.  Nicer than Hitler's but a tad overheated.  It's Platinum Jubilee Day, it's Pride Month and it's Day 100 of Putin's Ego War.  Duck and cover! 

  

"Cro-Magnons will not replace us!"