Sunday, May 22, 2022

Making a list, checking it twice

We've all done it, usually in the fourth grade.  Enraged at a playground taunt or the failure to be invited to the right birthday party, you make a list of all the people you won't speak to anymore.  Nowadays I suppose you post it on Tik-Tok or some similar place.  When I was young...never mind.

We grow up, or most of us do.  But when Madison Cawthorn found out he wouldn't be in Congress after January because his own party was so tired of him and his coke-orgy stories and his arrests, his first instinct was to make a list -- of all the "America First Patriots" who "had my back" unlike the mean doody-heads Richard Burr and Thom Tillis and all those people who voted against him last week.  He went on to call for a "Dark MAGA" to avenge him on the "globalists" and how "the time for genteel politics as usual has come to an end."  It's pretty thrilling for a one-term loser, and you can probably guess which one-term loser tops the Hero List.  

Despite his continued willingness to bomb Ukraine back to the Stone Age, Vladimir Putin is another loser by any reckoning.  His one-week war has now lasted for more than three months, revealing the once-feared Russian military to be a bunch of corrupt clowns and incompetents who lost an entire battalion trying and failing to cross the Siverskyi Donets River.  His economy is in ruins and his health isn't much better.  So -- time for a list!

Russia (i.e. Putin) has listed 963 Americans who are not allowed in the country and it's impressive:  Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Antony Blinken, Lloyd Austin, Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, Pete Buttigieg,  CIA Director William Burns, former press secretary Jen Psaki, Mark Zuckerberg, Morgan Freeman, Jeffrey Katzenberg of DreamWorks, Hillary Clinton and Hunter Biden.  Also John McCain, Harry Reid and Orrin Hatch, because who wants zombie Senators roaming around?  The roll of honor includes many journalists (no Fox News entertainers), an Iowa judge, several rabbis, an LGBTQ activist and "a history professor at Yale University," presumably Timothy Snyder.  Still welcome in Mother Russia:   Mitch McConnell (the list must have been compiled before his visit to Kyiv), Rand Paul, and Trump and his minions with the curious exception of Mike Pompeo.  

Morgan Freeman?  The bastards.  And nobody from Disney?

Maddy and Vladdy, do you feel better now?







  


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