Am I awake?

Welcome to a new feature where we question the very reality of reality.  Because it's 2022.

Normally I don't care for bands venturing into the pop repertoire.  Like when televised football games used to include the half-time show instead of seventy-three more commercials and scholarly analysis from Terry Bradshaw.  ("And now, the East Moses University Marching 100 with a salute to Alice Cooper!")  But this is magic:

 It's a brass quintet (possibly military) playing Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" at twilight in front of the Odessa Opera House.

Here is a quote from Lauren Boebert, a completely serious member of the United States House of Representatives:  "I don't know who's running the federal government these days, uh Joe Biden or Prince John, uh, from, uh uh uh uh, Prince John, but they're taxing us into poverty."  The next time she says Biden is senile, please to play this back.  

I just saw this comment at Wonkette:  "Baseball would be a lot more fun if they instituted 'Beat the Owner With a Commemorative Bat Day.'"  Indeed, Old Man Shadow, if that is your name.  In this of all years they can't cancel the fucking season.

Didn't know He was still on Twitter.

If Trump's plane isn't ready in time for 2024 there's always duct tape.

Alex Jones has a new book explaining that covid is part of a vast (aren't they all?) conspiracy to reorganize all society as a "fascist dystopia."  It's hard to believe he and Empty Greene have a problem with that.  Maybe we have different definitions of "fascist" and "dystopia." 

Toby Price was assistant principal of Gary Road Elementary School in Byram, Mississippi, until he tried to corrupt the youth of America with his woke leftist agenda.  Specifically, he read I Need a New Butt, a children's book by Dawn McMillan, to children.  He has done it before without incident but this time he was fired by the Hinds (!) County School District for "lack of professionalism and impaired judgment."  Clearly Hinds County is run by assholes.

No she can!  Sarah Sanders is running for something based on her ability to say "No."  Also hating CNN.  That's the ad.  What's the state?

"I do not think there's anything savvy or genius about Putin," said Kevin McCarthy three weeks into the assault on Ukraine.  Then someone dropped a paperweight and he shat himself.

It looks like the Census undercounted 18.8 million Black, Latino and Indigenous people in 2020.  It looks like I'm shocked.

Desperate for any sort of economic boost, the West Virginia state senate reinstated its film tax credit.  The principal opponent was one Robert Karnes because he hates Bette Midler.  

Mike Pence  -- oh, who cares?

Republican legislatures are hysterical in their insistence that teaching children about slavery and racism will make them sad and uncomfortable (if white) or angry and violent (if not).  Yet Ashley Palmer of Chatham County, North Carolina, reports her son was sold in a "mock slave auction" at his school.  So some uncritical racist theory is being taught after all.

Dubliners who share a street with the Russian Embassy want to change its name to Independent Ukraine Road.  It is now called Orwell Road.  (Has been since 1864 so nope, not George.)  It is a very long road and the proposed address is also very long.  Think about that before you change the signs.  Christmas card season will be here before you know it.