Eagles and turtles

 It's been a long week and we need some laughter, even if it's the derisory kind.  This will do:  Stephen Miller, the ghoulish face of Trumpism, is suing the House Select Committee over its subpoena of his phone records.  It seems that Miller, 36 and a former government official, is still on his mom and dad's calling plan and turning over the records would violate their privacy; he of course has nothing to hide. Miller was the functionary who took sadistic pleasure in separating children from their parents at the southern border (some have yet to be reunited), but he never got around to separating himself from the family's phone plan.  

Hitler fanboy Madison Cawthorn was arrested on a second charge of driving with an expired license.  He also has two citations for speeding.  These charges are separate from taking a knife to a school board meeting, still illegal in North Carolina, and attempting to board a plane with a gun.  Some residents have tried to keep him from running for re-election over his involvement in the coup attempt, citing a provision of the Fourteenth Amendment.   Maybe they should just wait for him to hit a tree at 89 mph.  The young statesman was on his way to radio station WRAL in Raleigh, where he told listeners, "Remember that Zelensky is a thug.  Remember that the Ukrainian government is incredibly corrupt and is incredibly evil and has been pushing woke ideologies." 

His allies in Beijing would agree.  The Chinese Foreign Ministry says the US is operating "dangerous" biolabs in Ukraine, a diversionary tactic they have used before when questioned about covid.  Also probably laying the groundwork for a Russian chemical weapons attack on Ukraine.  

Trump's personal plane Air Farce One has been up on blocks for years.  Some richbastard lent him a jet to fly from New Orleans back to Florida and it developed engine trouble shortly after takeoff.  So now he's hustling the rubes to buy him a new plane.  "My team is building a BRAND NEW" plane which he can't wait to show them as soon as they type in their credit card information.  It's a technique he picked up from televangelists.

John Bolton gave an interview to Vice News and said Putin held off invading Ukraine in the hope of a second Trump term and the subsequent destruction of NATO.  Asked if Trump would have opposed the invasion, Bolton said, "You never know with Trump.  It depends on what time of day it is, it depends on what he thought his political benefit would be at any given moment.  I don't think ultimately he would have stood in Putin's way."  What time of day it is... those who care for Alzheimer patients call it "sundowning."

Some Washington Post reporters studied police misconduct and the lawsuits it brings and concluded that it's defunding the police to the tune of billions.  If weeding out the racists and psychotics doesn't appeal to police forces for legal or moral reasons, maybe monetary savings will.

Justice-designate Ketanji Brown Jackson has not yet had a confirmation hearing but already Republicans are demanding she recuse herself when the Court hears a challenge to Harvard's admissions policy (she is on the university's board of governors).  This is pretty rich from the crowd that never had a problem with Mrs. Clarence Thomas's far-right activities.  But it seems to suggest Jackson will be confirmed, so I'll allow it, as the judges on Law and Order say constantly.

Ralph Celentano loves Trump and sea turtles, and that combination led to his downfall.  Celentano was identified as the January 6 insurrectionist who shoved a Capitol Police officer over a ledge from a 2018 Facebook picture of a sea turtle benefit.  He's charged with assaulting an officer, civil disorder and caring too much about wildlife.

Nearly twenty years after fleeing Russia for Israel, Leonid Nevzlin has renounced his Russian citizenship and condemned "the genocide of the Ukrainian people."  "Everything Putin touches dies," he wrote on Facebook.  That sounds vaguely familiar.  Does Putin own any casinos we haven't heard about?

The "People's Convoy" likes to take credit for ending covid restrictions that were called off weeks ago but don't look for them today to thank them -- Road to Nowhere 2022 has been called off because it's raining.  But they gave Ted Cruz a lift so they could thank him for his special wonderfulness, like those crew members who hug him every time he flies.  What a guy.  So needy.  

"REEER!  REEER!"  That's the sound windmills make that gives you cancer, according to Trump.  He found another podcast and they asked him about Ukraine and he went off on how it's all a plot on behalf of green energy and windmills, they kill birds, they ruin the landscape, "A windmill will kill many bald eagles," and also "YMCA" is "the gay national anthem."  He loves bald eagles.

 

What did Bolton say about "what time of day it is"?

Russians who get their news from state TV -- and what else is there? -- are being told that Ukrainians are shooting one another and blaming Russia, as their grandparents were told that Ukrainians starved themselves to death to make Stalin look bad.  Bombed-out hospitals are "fake news" too.  But even their pundits have abandoned calls for champagne and acknowledged that the price for destroying Ukraine will be higher than anticipated.  "This is a war of the United States with Russia.  These sanctions are hitting us very precisely."  (No McDonald's!  No Facebook!  Civil war looms.)  Nobody thought the Ukrainians would fight back this long or this hard, so they have to save face by pretending the real enemy is the enormous nuclear power across the sea.  For laughs they play Tucker Carlson clips, especially the one of Doug McGregor promoting the myth of Russian invincibility.  In short, Russians are being told to tighten their belts for a prolonged war and inevitable victory.  Well, at least nobody is saying it will be a doddle, as when ruble-fueled UKIP was pushing for Brexit.  That's the trouble with lies:  Sooner or later reality has to be faced.

But never by Thomas "Gunhumper" Massie of Kentucky, who is now happily spreading the myth of US/Ukrainian biological weapons.  I almost wish we were at war with Russia.  Then the FBI would intern Massie, Cawthorn, Carlson and Trump.  Depending on what time of day it is.