Republican Star Search

 The quest for the next Trump has yielded many serious contenders.  Only last week we met Kentucky state representative and licensed pharmacist Danny Bentley, who has some fascinating theories about Jewish women and cervical cancer.  He also believes the abortifacient RU-482 (Mifepristone) is similar to the insecticide Zyklon-B, used to kill inmates of Nazi death camps, so the people of Kentucky are fortunate that he has taken up politics instead of filling prescriptions.  The (deliberate?) resemblance to Colonel Sanders is a nice extra touch.

Bentley's star was eclipsed today, however, when Stephanie Regan tweeted, "If you're in Michigan and 18+ plus pls for the love of god do not vote for my dad for state rep.  Tell everyone."  The family of Paul Gosar makes similar desperate pleas every two years, but her dad makes the demon dentist look like Howard Baker.  Say hello to Robert Regan, running for the state legislature.  He brushed off his daughter's fear as the result of her exposure to "Marxist communist ideology" at the University of Colorado, where she also learned to believe in systemic racism.  He believes it exists only in "the abortion clinic 'cause they seem to target the African American community."  He wants to be the friend of Black people just like Trump, who has "done more for them than any president we've had in the last twenty years."

Wait, he's just getting warmed up.  Regan wants to make English the official language of Michigan, he wants to "restore" the state's "constitutional Militia" and he said he tells all three of his daughters, "If rape is inevitable you should just lie back and enjoy it."  Moreover, the invasion of Ukraine, which even Trump has acknowledged, is "a fake war just like the fake pandemic," and feminism is "a Jewish program to degrade and subjugate White men."  But Regan has already won the primary and the state's Republican "leaders" are unwilling to argue with success.  "If I could control what our candidates say all the time that would be a great thing," said co-chair Meshawn Maddock, channeling his inner Kevin McCarthy.  I see great things for this one. 

But keep an eye on state representative Mary Elizabeth Coleman, who doesn't think Missouri's insanely restrictive new abortion law goes far enough.  Tipped off that women are crossing into Illinois for the procedure, Coleman proposes to allow private citizens to sue anyone who helps them get over the state line with the bloodhounds snapping at their heels.  Yes, I exaggerate but these rat-out-the-woman-next-door laws are starting to sound like the Fugitive Slave Act.  We're weeks away from a law that would compel (in this instance) Illinois to send them back still pregnant.  And really, is involuntary motherhood that different from involuntary servitude?  

I know it's International Women's Day but don't even think of making a run for the Canadian border.