Laughter and loss

It has been called "the most envied prize in the English language" (Ian McEwan), but this year there will be no Bad Sex award from the Literary Review.  (Paywall won't even let you read one for free, so they can get stuffed.)  The editors thought "the public had been subjected to too many bad things this year to justify exposing it to bad sex as well," but really, the whole point is to laugh at the exquisitely bad writing on offer, so don't we need all the fun-fodder we can get?  We aren't cancelling all the comedy shows because more than a quarter-million Americans have died in the Trumpandemic.  Squirmy-bad descriptions of rumpy-pumpy are at least as funny as...

Texas suing Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin because they were won by Joe Biden, won in recounts by Joe Biden, dismissed baseless lawsuits to take them away from Joe Biden and certified their elections for Joe Biden.  The suit claims that changes those states made to their laws because of the Trumpandemic are unconstitutional and should invalidate their participation in the electoral college at next week's homecoming dance.  The real reason:  Texas attorney general Ken Paxton has been indicted for stock fraud and is being investigated by the FBI for bribery.  Needless to say, he would like a pardon for Christmas and even after the Supreme Court pretends it's going into a tunnel and can't hear this nonsense, Ken will probably get one.

It's not my sport but I'm told Dan Gable is a legend in real wrestling, not the WWE phony-baloney stuff that put Trump in its Hall of Fame.  Nevertheless, Trump sort of gave him the Medal of Freedom this morning before lumbering out of the room, leaving Gable and his family gobsmacked.  That's not funny, but all the speculation that Donny needed a sudden diaper change is comedy gold.  

Superlawyer Jenna Ellis is the latest recipient of a presidential honor, the covid she picked up at a White House virus party.  Only last week she was attacking the "MSM" for believing "one or two unnamed 'sources'" while ignoring her thousands of witnesses to election fraud.  Once again the MSM has TLL (the last laugh). 

As Moscow Mitch bargains down another poverty-row relief package for the hungry and the evicted, it's a good time to remember the $2 trillion CARES Act devised in great secrecy last March by Senate Republicans to help suffering industries like insurance and energy.  What Senator's husband suddenly began to buy stock in those very sectors?   Go on, guess.  Hint:  he chairs the company that owns the New York Stock Exchange.  His name is Sprecher but she goes by Loeffler.  That's right!  It's our old friend Sticky Fingers, who is even now thinking of a way to blame radicaliberals.  Funny, huh?

We asked for it, and here it is:  the White House Tennis Pavilion is open for business, at least to the "private donors" who paid for it.  (The Koch-Mercer Pavilion?)  David Corn's comment:  "282,345" It has already served its purpose, obliterating Obama's basketball court.  Marie Antoinette was born in the Habsburg Empire, which then encompassed Slovenia.  Just saying.

Trump can't even be arsed to give out a medal with dignity, but someone in his Usual Gang of Idiots is presumably devising a way to distribute the 100 million doses of Pfizer vaccine that are headed our way.  Two injections are required, so this will cover fifty million people in a population of 340 million.  Pfeizer offered to sell them another hundred million last summer but apparently someone (Jared?) had already invested in Moderna, which is not quite ready to market.  Oops!  Joe Biden has a whole health care panel in place but no one will talk to them.  Double oops!  Any Trekkie knows that "warp speed" like this won't even get you to the Neutral Zone.

Could covid cause erectile dysfunction?   Its reported effects have included kidney failure and loss of smell and taste, and in some cases have required heart and lung transplants and amputations, but this thing just got real.

Ted Cruz -- yes, the Texan from Canada -- wants to show off his litigatin' skills when the very well constructed legal challenge to the Pennsylvania election results hits the Supreme Court.  The main one.  Well, even Stephen Miller thought this was a bad idea, causing Lou Dobbs to call the Republicans "gutless" and whine that they're making Trump fight all alone.  Which is having a terrible effect on his bowel (see Dan Gable item above).  Don't you hate it when your crazy uncles fight?  It may be of some comfort to Dobbs that Arizona Republicans led by Ali Alexander announced that they're ready to die for Trump's right to overthrow democracy and illustrated it with a clip from Rambo (2008). The more sober part of the Goldwater party took it down citing "concerns about copyright and fair use law," not "concerns that this might get somebody killed with an arrow."  

Attention, Kelly Loeffler and Jared Kushner:  You think you know nepotism and insider trading?  Meet Kirill Shamalov, former son-in-law of Vladimir Putin.  He paid $100 for a share of petrochemical company Sibur, and it's now worth $380 million.   What are you doing with your lives?

When this pandemic is over, why not visit the "eighth wonder of the world," as Trump proclaimed it three years ago -- the Foxconn plant in Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin.  What?  It's not there?  Just a beautiful new highway leading to it and some land where people used to live?  I'm sorry, it's not a bit funny.  It's painful to read.  But you might get some idea why Biden won Wisconsin.