Fool moon

 

Remember this charming bit of Americana -- Iowana, actually -- from 2016?  What it will look like when they "lock 'er up"?  Politics was so civilized then.

Today some Trumpanzees drove a hearse to the Biden Bus Tour in Missouri City, Texas.  In the hearse was a casket, and in the casket was a mannequin depicting Kamala Harris.  "Collecting Democrat votes one dead stiff at a time," read the sign, somewhat redundantly.  These people really hate women.  The good news is that they were outnumbered by Biden supporters 4-1.

Miss Juanita Jean at The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon reports that they also brought a tank.  Outnumbered but not outgunned.

Despite being ordered by numerous judges to stop fucking with the mail, Louis DeJoy has done nothing to unfuck the mail.  A  large pile of it was discovered in a post office in Princeton, Florida, this week.  Yes, there were ballots.  A study by the Guardian in Michigan (where a court has ruled that ballots received after Tuesday won't be counted) found that mail is slowest in Detroit.  I'm shocked.

Wisconsin Republican chairman Andrew Hitt claims that hackers stole $2.3 million from their account.  He's sure they didn't spend it on salons and spas like Ronna McDaniel, or on sports cars and Superbowl ads like Brad Parscale, or on the three-dollar-a-glass water at Mar a Lago.  He also swears he has never seen the movie Sneakers.

You probably thought that, at least for now, there's a far right majority on the Supreme Court.  Yet they just ruled 5-4 that votes can be counted after Election Day and Trump is whining about it:  "That's a terrible, political, horrible decision that they made.  November 3rd is going to come and go and we're not going to know.  And you're going to have bedlam in our country."  (Sounds like a threat.)  Well, we waited weeks in 2000 and no cities burned, although there was increased larceny in Tallahassee.   Still, best to cancel the election night gala at the Trump Trivago Hotel.   Oh, you did?  

China caused the pandemic!  China conspires with Hunter Biden!  China has a venture capital company called Huaneng Invesco WLR with the Secretary of Commerce on its board!  Wait, what?  Wilbur Ross?  Part of "a major state-owned power producer"?  Again, shocked.

We have lost the respect of every non-dictatorship, but we still have a State Department and it still has an inspector general.  And the inspector general is just amazed at the extent to which Mike Pompeo has misused State Department resources for everything from house repairs to special favors for his son's software company.  How is the IG tracing all this misbehavior?  HIS EMAILS!  And while Susan Pompeo has been living la vida loca at our expense, her husband keeps promising to release more of Hillary Clinton's emails.  Because she's a private citizen in the New York suburbs and it couldn't be more important.  

I started with another implied assassination threat, so I'll end with comedy:  Trump's "secret weapon" Nigel Farage, whom he introduced in Arizona as "the king of Europe."  Marina Hyde's essay is pure holiday fun.