Saturday, February 08, 2020

Influencer pandemic

Mike Bloomberg is the kindest, warmest, bravest, most lovable human being I've ever known in my life.  Where is my $150?

As expected, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman has been kicked off the National Security team at the White House, along with his brother because twins are like clones and Trump is scared of them.  To cite a different movie, it's significantly better than being thrown out of a leper colony.

Check your calendar if you live in Pittsburgh, because it may be 1920.  You should think of re-naming the place Brigadoon.  Think of the tourism!

Still pissed about the way the TSA treated your laptop or your child's stuffed bear?  Look what they did to the kora of Malian musician Ballake Sissoko.  Somebody will be severely disciplined -- for letting him come here in the first place.

Trump went off on The Womens again, with special venom for Non-Praying Nancy and wives who don't go to the hospital with their husbands.  (You may recall that when he made an unscheduled trip to Walter Reed to sign autographs or whatever, Melania was elsewhere BeingBest.)   He also singled out two representatives for their physical attributes ("good talent") as if they were Miss Republican pageant contestants he had barged in on before the bathing suit competition.  Susan Collins must be so pleased that he has "learned his lesson."  Remember what he used to be like, right, Senator?

Mitt Romney was pointedly disinvited from this year's edition of CrapPAC.  See above re leper colonies.

Some previously unknown poems by Dorothy Parker have been discovered.  You'll have to scroll down, but take a minute to savor the Madonna story and imagine how Mrs. Parker would have reacted to it.

In a speech to a JPMorgan-sponsored investment shindig in Miami, Prince Harry revealed that he is seeing a therapist, and wanted to protect his son from the kind of hellish childhood he endured.  (I paraphrase.)  It probably doesn't help that his father-in-law calls him "candy-ass" and otherwise questions his manhood.  I'm betting all these pecan sandies in front of me that Thomas Markle shows up at a Trumpanzee rally before long.  Weirdly, the Sussexes are also getting pornographic abuse from a Brexit website called Leave.EU.  They left, didn't they?  In other "well, duh" news, Brian Cox (the actor, not the TV astronomer) says the royal family should be abolished when the queen dies.  He's still in therapy after being groped by Princess Margaret.

China has promised "thorough investigations" into the death of Dr. Li Wenliang, the Wuhan ophthalmologist who discovered and warned of the coronavirus last December.  For this he was hauled in by police and threatened about "making false comments on the internet."  As of this morning he and 723 other people had died of it.  Nearly 35,000 are infected worldwide.  But I'm not scared, no siree, because Trump got on the phone with Xi ("strong, sharp") and then relayed some word-for-word Chinese propaganda about how warm weather will end the pandemic.  Meanwhile, it's a good excuse for more travel restrictions.

And finally, Washington, DC, is getting major league rugby.  For those who haven't had the pleasure, rugby has been described as football without time-outs and huddles. (Or helmets.)  It's what the boys are playing against the masters in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, which gives me an excuse for a brief, belated farewell to the great Terry Jones.  Everybody mentioned the Virgin Mandy and Mr. Creosote, but to me he'll always be the Dirty Vicar.  And that naked guy playing the organ.






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