Double indemnity

Back in 1954 -- I was playing in the sandbox then, but I read books -- Joe McCarthy had everybody good and scared, even President Eisenhower.  He lumbered around calling everybody a Communist and nobody dared cross him.  Then he made the mistake of taking on an even bigger bully, the United States Army.  Trump's hero Roy Cohn, then McCarthy's henchman, was trying to get preferential treatment for his friend David Schine, the Army hired Joseph Welch...yadda yadda yadda, it was the beginning of the end, on national TV.  (You can read it all here.)  You do not fuck with the Army, puny junior senator from some dairy state.

Retired General John Kelly -- remember him?  Probably not well, Trump flunky, racist, board member at Caliburn International and all-around creep.  Kelly made a speech at Drew University and he is pissed.  According to The Atlantic, he is pissed about Ukrainegate, North Korea, the Gallagher pardon, attacks on the press and on immigrants, and the treatment of Col. Alexander Vindman.  Maybe he's sincere, maybe he's trying to salvage his reputation as an honorable Marine, maybe he's thinking of running for president.  His motives don't matter, any more than the predictable Twitter whining his words elicited.

The point is that people like Kelly are worried.  Moscow Mitch's show trial signaled that Trump is untouchable, that he can't be impeached again much less removed.  That's arguable -- we've never before had a president so awful that he needed to be impeached twice.  A group we might call the unusual suspects -- Kelly, Mitt Romney, Chris Christie, Andrew Napolitano, even John Fucking Bolton -- are clearly alarmed by the dictatorial moves of the last week.  Cabinet departments compete in flagrant corruption, with Justice in a comfortable lead, passing along demands from The Leader for a light-to-no sentence for Roger Stone and refusing to be scrutinized by Congress.  Barr has proved to be so depraved and servile, I can't imagine why he was initially passed over for Beauregard Kukluxer Sessions.  Today eight names were added to the Vengeance List, the Republican Senators who voted for a Democratic resolution to prevent further idiotic tantrums against Iran -- even the three wafflers on impeachment, Alexander, Collins and Murkowski.  Maybe Collins changed her mind about Trump "learning his lesson" when she read this in the Washington Post (you'll have to read it here because they keep demanding money -- I guess Bezos's $165 million house turned out to be a fixer-upper).

I've got a good book I'd like to get back to.  Let's end on some lighter stories:

Look, plenty of people endure chemotherapy without becoming unhinged.  That's because they don't start as racist, misogynistic, homophobic scumbags.  Here's Jabba the Rush completely obsessed with a picture he saw of Pete Buttigieg kissing his husband, Chasten, and wondering how the Democrats plan to "ram it down Trump's throat."  No shit, read it yourself.  Do they even listen to themselves?  No, and I hope they never start.

Steve Mnuchin holds his job by continuing to hold Trump's tax returns (now under audit since 1983), but he had no problem sharing information on a private citizen, Hunter Biden.   Who's next?

Drop that bleach!  Ex-con televangelist Jim Bakker is peddling a silver solution that is guaranteed to kill coronavirus in twelve hours or less.  Which is a good thing, because the death toll in China continues to rise.  Praise the Lord, who accepts all major credit cards.

As you know, Princess Ivanka has created hundreds of millions of jobs, but apparently none for Hope Hicks.  So she will return to the White House like a dog to vomit as senior adviser to Jared Kushner, senior beard to senior daddy-fluffer Ivanka.  When not advising, she will no doubt have time for pants pressing.  (Would it be wrong to speculate that Jared is fed up with sharing Princess and has decided it's time for a little fun of his own?  Or that Hope looks like she could advise his brains out?  Yes.  So wrong.)

To avoid a repeat of all that Ukraine business, Trump may prevent responsible adults from getting on the phone when he treasons with foreign leaders.  Maybe he'll get a flashlight and some Oreos and chat with them under the covers, like he does with Hannity.  What's the fucking difference?

Pitchers, catchers and unrepentant owners have reported to Florida.  Jim Crane, owner of the Houston Astros, says their high-tech sign-stealing had no impact on last year's post-season games.  So why do it?  Meanwhile, Major League Baseball wants to wring even more money out of the game by expanding the playoffs so the World Series can be played over the Thanksgiving weekend.  If we're lucky.

Still a few hours until Valentine's Day, which means you can send a sexxxxy video from Sean Spicer from this place.  If Spicey is too pricer -- let me try that again -- if Spicer is pricer -- oh, look, you can also get Tomi Lahren, Corey Lewandowski, Omarosa and some people who aren't post-Trump unemployables.  My pulse is racing.  Need chocolates, stat!