Anonymous redux
Remember the anonymous op-ed? In the New York Times? September 5, 2018? "I am part of the resistance inside the Trump White House," etc. Despite feverish speculation and even more feverish in-house investigation, the author was never identified. A year later the stakes are much higher -- half the country supports impeachment, according to the latest poll -- and the Great and Powerful Trump is more obsessed every hour with unmasking and punishing the individual known as the Whistleblower. He wants polygraph testing on everybody in sight. If that doesn't work, maybe waterboarding. America has experts in both techniques. Too bad they're equally useless in getting at the truth.
Then the 38-year-old mayor of Minneapolis got fresh with Dear Leader, demanding that the Trump campaign pony up $500,000 to cover the cost of security for this week's hatenanny. In order of mounting dementia he was denounced as a "lightweight," a "liberal" and a member of the "radical left" (I don't do Twitter, by now he could be a Bolshevik). His response: "Yawn. Welcome to Minneapolis where we pay our bills, we govern with integrity, and we love all of our neighbors." Translation: Stay home, short-fingered vulgarian. We know about all the other cities you've stiffed on police overtime and venue fumigation.
More bad news: "China has long pursued the policy of non-interference in the internal affairs of other countries. We have no intention of intervening in the internal affairs of the United States," said Geng Shuang, spokesman for the Chinese foreign ministry. So no Biden dirt for you even if we had some, he meant. Oh, and don't let your private citizens comment on the violence in Hong Kong, if you want the National Basketball League to keep making money here. The general manager of the Houston Rockets, Daryl Morey, had tweeted support for the demonstrators; either the team or the league made him delete it. Eight hundred million viewers is a lot of eyeballs to sell to advertisers.
Don't put the truth serum away just yet -- more backtalk from the National Security Council. No spine? Got "rolled" by Turkey? How many NSC officials does Soros have on his payroll? How do you expect Trump to keep his Enemies List up to date if you insist on anonymity? Very very unfair. It's simply not true that he got nothing: there are two Trump Towers in Istanbul. The same anonymous NSC official says the US should support creation of a Kurdish state, adding, "It would be another Israel in the region." But would they call their capital Ivankastan?
When you see this picture -- the cheesy grin, the Taco Bell version of Mexican food -- your impulse is to change the page rapidly. A hero who didn't spotted a stockpile of Sudafed in a handy drawer, enough to induce hallucinations and insomnia in an entire division. At the very least it's a drug law violation. At most, paranoid psychosis. Sleep well. He doesn't.
Did Moscow Mitch get his wife Elaine Chao a cabinet job so she could direct millions of federal dollars to Kentucky? It would be irresponsible to say so, wouldn't it? So I'll let Business Insider do it for me.
If you need a laugh, just search the words Florida Man. Here's quintessential FM Matt Gaetz explaining that "kangaroo courts" were invented by Captain Kangaroo. Right after Bunny Rabbit was indicted for insider trading.
Then the 38-year-old mayor of Minneapolis got fresh with Dear Leader, demanding that the Trump campaign pony up $500,000 to cover the cost of security for this week's hatenanny. In order of mounting dementia he was denounced as a "lightweight," a "liberal" and a member of the "radical left" (I don't do Twitter, by now he could be a Bolshevik). His response: "Yawn. Welcome to Minneapolis where we pay our bills, we govern with integrity, and we love all of our neighbors." Translation: Stay home, short-fingered vulgarian. We know about all the other cities you've stiffed on police overtime and venue fumigation.
More bad news: "China has long pursued the policy of non-interference in the internal affairs of other countries. We have no intention of intervening in the internal affairs of the United States," said Geng Shuang, spokesman for the Chinese foreign ministry. So no Biden dirt for you even if we had some, he meant. Oh, and don't let your private citizens comment on the violence in Hong Kong, if you want the National Basketball League to keep making money here. The general manager of the Houston Rockets, Daryl Morey, had tweeted support for the demonstrators; either the team or the league made him delete it. Eight hundred million viewers is a lot of eyeballs to sell to advertisers.
Don't put the truth serum away just yet -- more backtalk from the National Security Council. No spine? Got "rolled" by Turkey? How many NSC officials does Soros have on his payroll? How do you expect Trump to keep his Enemies List up to date if you insist on anonymity? Very very unfair. It's simply not true that he got nothing: there are two Trump Towers in Istanbul. The same anonymous NSC official says the US should support creation of a Kurdish state, adding, "It would be another Israel in the region." But would they call their capital Ivankastan?
When you see this picture -- the cheesy grin, the Taco Bell version of Mexican food -- your impulse is to change the page rapidly. A hero who didn't spotted a stockpile of Sudafed in a handy drawer, enough to induce hallucinations and insomnia in an entire division. At the very least it's a drug law violation. At most, paranoid psychosis. Sleep well. He doesn't.
Did Moscow Mitch get his wife Elaine Chao a cabinet job so she could direct millions of federal dollars to Kentucky? It would be irresponsible to say so, wouldn't it? So I'll let Business Insider do it for me.
If you need a laugh, just search the words Florida Man. Here's quintessential FM Matt Gaetz explaining that "kangaroo courts" were invented by Captain Kangaroo. Right after Bunny Rabbit was indicted for insider trading.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:44 PM
1 Comments:
Good for Minneapolis. I've in the past proposed that New York invoice Trump every time he comes to New York, ties up traffic, and causes scads of cops to incur overtime. The thought hasn't occurred to Mayor De Blasio. Perhaps he's been too busy running, either for president or to his health club in Brooklyn.
D'ya think the Sudafed is connected to Trump's sniffing? I mean, does he chop it up and sniff it? Just askin'.
Elaine Chow gets punished for her sins every day. She wakes up with Mitch.
The Kurds have no friends. You can google that quote. It was once an official statement — from the Kurds. Nice of Trump to prove it to them, though.
The Kangaroo Courts statement scares me. Every time the Trumpistas accuse Democrats of doing something Democrats haven't done, it's because they're doing it — or about to do it — themselves.
Yours crankily,
The New York Crank
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