Glorious Fourth

I totally stole this from AllHatNoCattle because it can't be improved upon.  No (Polynesian) tiki torches for you, Nazi assholes.  Also no (Mexican) tacos or tequila, no (Chinese) fireworks, no (Peruvian) potatoes, no (Spanish) paella, no kosher food and no decent music.  You get Velveeta, Wonder Bread, Pat Boone and Coors.  Enjoy the holiday.