Friday, June 22, 2018

Mr. Beans

I want to be a better person.  I do.  Schadenfreude is cheap and as easy to pick up as plastic cups beside the interstate.  But I'm only human.  So when I read that CNN's Dan Merica was in Minnesota to cover the Presidential Liesapalooza and Weekly Hillary Pillory, and he met a farmer who voted for Trump and now he's sad, what am I to do?  Mr. Farmer says he's lost a quarter-million dollars he expected to get for his soybean crop, so, you know, not a small homesteader.  "This isn't just numbers on a sheet or percentage of trade or dollar value.  This is multi-generational American families that you are now putting squarely into financial peril."   Turns out "trade wars" are NOT easy to win, if you're a poilu or a Tommy in the trenches.  And maybe voting for a vile, stupid racist and misogynist because you like the way he says "You're fired!" was not the best plan.  And if you think Hillary's a bitch, meet her good friend Karma.

So fuck you and fuck your soybeans.  Feed them to your brats.  Shove them up your ass.  I don't care.  When the bank takes your "multi-generational" farm, live in your truck.  Maybe you can swap soybeans for gasoline to keep the heater going this (Minnesota) winter.  Or drive it to Texas and get a job guarding terrified preschoolers.  Don't forget to vote!  It worked out for you last time.

Oh, and also fuck you and Trump for making me into this permanently enraged blogger pounding my rage into an inoffensive keyboard.  And fuck you.

Here's some emotional support.  Play it when Cory Lewandowski isn't available.



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