Catching up

Maybe there will never be peace in the Middle East, but at least Saudi Arabia has begun to appreciate Woody Allen.  Small steps.

Did Melania actually step off the red carpet in Israel to avoid her husband's hand?  Will she be leaving the tour early like Priebus?  Did Netanyahu really have to order his ministers not to boycott the welcoming ceremony?   

The "so-called Supreme Court" (as Senator Richard Russell used to call them back in the days of Earl Warren and Brown) struck down some of the worst of North Carolina's racial gerrymandering laws.  Bet you a dollar Trump tries to fire them.

After two whole days away from Big Macs and Mar-a-Legomyeggo, Trump is reportedly "exhausted."  Maybe he has a brain tumor and is nearly dead, like Hillary.  Yeah, he probably caught it from her.  He didn't curtsy to King Salman, he just tripped.  It's so hot.  Who ever thought Arabia was so hot in May?  Nobody could have known. 

Speaking of royalty, I know why Prince Philip announced his retirement:  so he never has to meet Trump.  "Sorry, old girl, I've backed you up for seventy years but this is the bloody limit."

Between praying at the Western Wall and calling Islam a "great religion," Trump has the alt-right chewing on themselves with rage.  Roger Stone says he wants to vomit, which is fine with me, all over that Adolphe Menjou suit if you don't mind.  A silver lining to go with the gold medal.

Fastest way to get out of the parking lot ahead of the crowd at a commencement this spring is to book a member of the Trump junta as speaker.  DeVos and Pence have addressed the backs of exiting graduates so far.  Anyone for Mickey Flynn?  (The Air Force Academy didn't really have the option.)

A professional hunter in South Africa was crushed to death by a shot elephant.  Should I be happy or delighted?  Since the elephant died, too, I'll go with quietly amused.

Now that ISIS knows it has a mole reporting to Mossad, there should be some interesting activity there.  Thanks, Donald, and your very good brain.  (He actually has a very good brain.  It was a gift from Ben Carson.)

Iran had an election, and the candidate who got the most votes gets to be president.  Now exactly how does that work?