Wednesday, June 05, 2019

Morgan: a suitable case for impeachment

Piers Morgan interviewed Donald Trump, and it was lies, lies all the way down.  And a hat.

To be fair, Morgan brought up subjects no American is allowed to touch, like the continuing Trump-McCain feud and the time-specific bone spurs that kept him from charging right into Hanoi like it was a school under siege and winning the war.  Then again, he wasn't forced to scream over the noise of Marine One.  It was more like a Fox & Friends morning tongue-bath with complimentary reach-around.  But the worst British journalist is still better than Steve Doucy.

Some highlights:

He didn't serve in Vietnam because he didn't approve of the war, although not enough to say so at the time.  Doc Bornstein and the "bone spurs" was so much more patriotic than showing up at a demo and maybe getting butt-kicked by a construction worker his father had ripped off.  But --- "I think I make up for that right now.  Look, $700 billion I gave last year and this year $716 billion."  You gave? Morgan didn't ask, although even he must know the defense budget comes from Congress.  And then some crap about "rebuilding" the military, which under Obama was down to its last couple of invisible fighter jets.

Why must transgender people be thrown out of the military?  "Too many drugs," says President Adderall-Propecia-Crestor-Ambien-some antibiotic for his rosacea.  Besides, they only enlist for "the operation."  This is all steaming fertilizer, of course.  Morgan didn't ask why Melania had to have her most recent "kidney procedure" in a Navy hospital.  It's sad when a woman pushing fifty has to compete in the silicone department with her step-daughter.  He was being polite.

The subject of gun violence somehow came up, maybe because a man killed twelve of his former co-workers in Virginia Beach last week.  He actually said you can't take semi-automatic weapons away  because Americans use them for "entertainment."  And of course, "In London you have stabbing all over, I read an article where everyone's being stabbed.  They say your hospital is a sea of blood all over the floors!"  In the midst of this Hammer Films fantasy, the obvious lie "I read an article" went unnoticed.  That's how it works, Piers, they come so fast the Lie Depository at the Washington Post can't even keep up.

This went on for an excruciating half-hour.  Then Morgan gave him a Churchill-style hat which he can wear while reading the Churchill book the queen gave him.  I'm joking, of course, look for them both on eBay.

Another diplomatic triumph.  Then it was off to Ireland to solve their oldest problem.  Are you ready?  They should build a wall between Northern Ireland and the Republic.

Mexico will pay for it.


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