HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

 

Many Twitterati have enjoyed "Man Crossing London Street Dressed As Snail" but few understand that this is the Homemade Costume part of the Conservative Party leadership contest.  Next comes the dance competition, followed by Who Does the Best Sean Connery?  Since the previous election resulted in Trump Lite, they decided to try something different.

The city of Shanghai has declared an extreme heat warning for the third time this month as temperatures above 100F are recorded.  This must be the most incompetent climate hoax ever attempted.

                                                          Glacier collapse in Italy

A study in The Lancet, a totally serious medical journal, says people under forty should not consume more than two tablespoons' worth of wine or one shot glass of beer per day, which is kind of pointless.  People over forty, on the other hand, can benefit from "a drink or two" to stave off heart attack, diabetes and stroke.  They want us to face the twenty-first century sober?

As the inspector general of the DHS continues to seek crucial text messages sent by the Secret Service on January 5-6, 2021, the explanation for their disappearance continues to evolve.  First it was "software upgrades," then "device replacements."  Other possibilities include "solar flare," "5G magnetic pulse" and "Jewish space lasers."

According to Jonathan Lemire's new book, Steve Bannon said Trump "would lie about anything."  But he meant it as praise!  Last year Ira Rosen said Bannon was in favor of invoking the 25th Amendment because of Trump's "dementia."  But he meant it as praise!

If you were wondering what the International Olympic Committee does between games, here's a glimpse:  They have reinstated Wa-Tho-Huk a/k/a Jim Thorpe as the sole winner of the 1912 pentathlon and decathlon.  He died in 1953.

I think it's time to...RELEASE McCRACKEN!