Racing with the supermoon

 

We begin with Herschel Walker, Republican candidate for the Senate of the United States, and his analysis of the problem of air pollution.  

"We in America have some of the cleanest air, the cleanest water in the world.  Since we don't control the air our good air decided to float over to China's bad air so when China gets our good air, their bad air got to move.  So it moves over to our good air space.  Then now we got to clean that back up."  And he's being criticized for fathering children at a Boris Johnsonian level, not for being profoundly dumb.

Speaking of BoJo, he'll remain as prime minister until September 5 in spite of last week's self-pitying farewell address.  The Tories figure it will take them two months to pick a leader from the crowded field and unbelievably complicated rules of the mysterious 1922 Committee.  Here is an explanation from the Indian Express.  Here is one from the Guardian.  I can't even explain the filibuster.

Joe Biden tried to put a positive spin on the miserable excuse for a gun control law he was able to wring out of the Congress and got heckled for his trouble by Manuel Oliver, whose son Joaquin was murdered in Parkland.  Despite Biden's insistence that they let him talk, security hustled Oliver away.  He didn't even say, "You're from Florida, man.  Get rid of Scott and Rubio if you want a better bill."  I would have.  Imagine someone uttering a critical word within a hundred yards of Trump.

Texas was surprised by the 2021 cold snap that sent Ted Cruz scurrying to Cancun, but the petroleum giant should be prepared for extreme heat by now.  Yet the Electric Reliability Council, as its power grid is optimistically named, has asked people to avoid using large appliances this week.  It may be a low-tax no-regulation utopia for business but not if the lights keep going out.

Poor poor Pigpen.  The judge refused to delay Steve Bannon's contempt of Congress trial and the House Select Committee refused to let him testify on live television and turn it into a circus.  But he did snag a very special guest for his podcast, the greatest mayor of all time (sorry, Fiorello) Rudolph Giuliani.  America's Punchline revealed that he had a talk with Jesus before going to the hospital.  Jesus told him to stop smoking and drinking and to cut back on the braciole, but said there was nothing he could do for Andy in the primary.

We still don't know why Tetsuya Yamagami decided to kill Shinzo Abe, but it's rumored that his mother belongs to the Unification Church.  Remember that bunch?  With the mass weddings?  I didn't know they were still in business.  Sun Myung Moon died in 2012.

The NFL never let Trump in the door but Condoleezza Rice now owns a piece of the Denver Broncos.  Another Black woman he can slander at his next hate rally.  He'll probably start by calling her "Canzalanda."  Trump has a history of mangling the names of people he doesn't respect, most recently "Kechangie Brown Jackson."  Last year it was "KA-ma-la?  Ka-MA-la?  Kamala-malamala?  I don't know.  Whatever."  These people with their crazy names, huh?  Who could forget "Barack HUSSEIN Obama"?  The klavern laps it up.

New York City's Emergency Management Department has issued advice on what to do in the event of a nuclear attack.  Basically, REMAIN INDOORS.  I could get that from Mitchell and Webb.