The dark time

Trump loves the retirement community known as The Villages in Florida.  He loves it so much, he re-tweeted a video of a Villager shouting "White power!" last year, when he still had a Twitter account.  Three residents love him back enough to risk five years in the sneezer for voting twice.  They must have thought no one would notice if they returned absentee ballots to distance places like Michigan, but thanks to their hero screaming about "fake votes" every ballot is being scrutinized.  Too bad.  Five years is a life sentence when you're already 73.  

Fox News stooge Jesse Watters arrived at Turning Stomach USA with the burden of having to follow murderous darling Kyle Rittenhouse.  The little shit has his own theme song -- just his name being chanted over and over -- and is tenderly protected from journalists who might make him cry again.  (Mom wasn't onstage with him.)  So Watters took aim at Anthony Fauci, literally, using terms like "ambush" and "kill shot."  Of course he was speaking metaphorically, wink wink.  Fauci wearily told CNN that Watters should be fired but he's been listening to this crap too long to think it will happen:  "He's going to go very likely unaccountable."  Then he went back to saving people who violently don't want to be saved.

But the turning ain't over until the cokehead sings.  "THEY CAN'T CANCEL US ALL!" yelled Crown Prince Donald, and went on to explain that the right has been fatally weakened by "the Biblical reference, the mentality," but no more.  For a "half century" the libs have played hardball, while the fascists were turning the other cheek and loving their neighbors and all that garbage.  Now I guess they're getting tough, marching with Tiki torches, burning books, vowing that Jews will not replace them...you know, I had the strangest sense of deja vu, which is French for "Shut up and send your crazy girlfriend out here, at least she doesn't look like a whipped beagle."

The forever fuhrer himself promises to "address the nation" on January 6, just as Hitler used to deliver a speech on November 8, the anniversary of his failed coup.  Using a front, he continues to rant about "the Unselect Committee" because a jenius can invent his own words.  (The random capitalizations are also somewhat reminiscent of German.)  A year is a long time to stew over a delusion.  New York Attorney General Letitia James still plans to depose the orange one on January 7, so maybe he should husband his strength.  Or maybe this time his lawsuit claiming a "bitter crusade" against him will be upheld.  I kid, or course, Trump and his lawyers (now drawn from the cash-for-your-crash branch of the bar) are going for a record number of "Get the hell out of my courtroom" rulings.

Here's something else we need to worry about:  palingenesis.  Don't panic -- I also thought it referred to those awful people in Alaska.  It's actually worse.  You see, Trump got booed by some acolytes in Dallas (the city where John F. Kennedy, Jr., failed to resurrect last November) when he recommended getting a covid booster.  The Q Continuum's explanation for this shocking event was the simplest one:  That's not the real Trump, it's a clone.  Honestly, palingenetic ultranationalism is not something I'm prepared to tackle right now.  "Fascist expectations of rebirth with purification will persist in proportion to America's exceptionalist anti-intellectualism."  We're screwed.

When the Soviet Union went bust, an informal rummage sale of weaponry took place and we thought, what a chaotic way to run a military.  Well, that was thirty years ago.  Take a look at the stuff the US Department of Defense can't account for.  Enough assault rifles, armor-piercing grenades, mortars, machine guns and plastic explosives to equip an army of Prod Boys and Oaf Keepers.  If we're lucky, they were bought by drug gangs and human traffickers first.

Maybe if Biden had offered Manchin Secretary of the Navy: