Where to begin?

 Ruben Gallego better run.  The Arizona Democrat suggested that Biden provide Ukraine with weapons and now a loudmouth named Alexei Zhuravlyov wants him kidnapped and brought to Russia.  Zhuravlyov proposed the crime on Russian 60 Minutes and got no pushback from the host Olga Skabeeva, because thuggery is the way things work there.  He's head of the Rodina party, which occupies the narrow space to the right of Putin.  You can drop him a line or just wait for him to show up on the Baby Tuckoo Show.

Yesterday it was Amazon and today Facebook appears not to be working.  Where will the Qcumbers exchange the latest conspiracy theories?  Could this be the Storm, or the Quickening, or whatever they call it?

Kyle Rittenhouse has scored his first paid speaking engagement with Turning Point USA.  Last month The Onion wrote, "Rittenhouse sentence to 45 years of CPAC appearances."  It begins.

A 58-foot pedestrian bridge across the Cuyahoga River in Akron, Ohio, is missing,  The police suspect thieves.

If there's one thing a "sovereign citizen" hates, it's being hauled into a court he does not recognize for making fraudulent statements on financial records required by a state he does not belong to.  (They respect no authority above county sheriffs, it says here.)  That must be why S.C. Joseph Catarineau assaulted the judge, the bailiff and the prosecutor in a Houston courtroom.  Now he's facing three more charges.  Keep it up, sov cit, you've got them on the run.

Ethan Crumbley would like to be moved to a juvenile facility so he doesn't fall behind on his schoolwork.  His lawyer is concerned about his "mental well-being."  (No, not The Onion.)

Another piece of Trump's legacy is gone.  The Department of Energy reversed his historic ruling which allowed multiple shower heads to spray more water on that yellow structure he apparently washes every day.  Back to Hope Hicks with a firehose, but at least it will give him something to bitch about on the Trump/O'Reilly illogical history tour.  It's a shame about all those empty seats.

Two years ago some of Chicago's Finest broke into Anjanette Young's apartment in search of something and kept the naked woman handcuffed for forty minutes while she repeatedly pointed out that they had come to the wrong address.  Now the city owes her $2.9 million, according to the City Council's Finance Committee.  Doesn't mean it won't happen again, of course, but there are a lot of things Chi could have spent that money on.  And that's what we mean when we say or we sing, "Reform the police."

The Salvation Army put out a guide called "Let's Talk About Racism," which of course means that they hate all white people and want them to die.  So Liz Wheeler of ONAN showed up on Fox News to celebrate the fact that donations are down.  I wonder what she would say if Ilhan Omar went on CNN to attack a Christian denomination.  No, I don't.

Today is Beethoven's 251st birthday.  Last year a lot of people were ready to do the 250th thing but covid got in the way.  It's still in the way.  Have a late quartet, it will do you a power of good.  (Opus 131, Quartet No. 14, the Takacs Quartet.)

Last week the tornado that killed 75 people in Kentucky and wiped several towns off the landscape also broke the continuous-path record set in 1925.  Yesterday the middle of the country experienced what is being called the windiest day ever recorded.  In five days winter officially begins.  I can't wait.

A Savannah, Georgia, man has died after being shot by a child of not quite two years.  This, sadly, is not a record-breaker.  

A judge in Lafayette, Louisiana, claims sedatives made her use a racial slur -- the racial slur -- to describe a Black man allegedly trying to break into her house.  Come on, Judge Odinet, that didn't work for Roseanne.