Gobbledygook

Another day, another court appearance by another Trump acolyte, but thanks to Chief Judge Beryl Howell of the US District Court in D.C. we finally know how to characterize their utterances.  "I am an American standing under public law and I am here by special divine appearance," said actor/Michael Jackson impersonator James Beeks.  "I cannot represent myself because I am myself.  I reserve all rights at all times and waive none, ever."  Said the judge, "That's all gobbledygook.  I have no idea what you're saying."  In fairness Beeks, a/k/a James T. Justis, a/k/a "Delisco," has been playing Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar and regular exposure to Andrew Lload Rubbish can result in cognitive damage.  In fairness to Judge Howell, she has been hearing a lot of this since January 6 coup-coups began flooding her courtroom.  But instead of ordering a psych hold or appointing a real lawyer, she sent Beeks home to Florida as soon as he can recover the "silver and gold" he claims the FBI took from him along with his car keys.  There he can hide among the other wandering Judases.

When Lauren "Bullets" Boebert issued her apology to "anyone in the Muslim community I offended" she meant "anyone but Ilhan Omar."  Don't pick on her, the "strong Christian woman" only recently finished high school.  During a phone call Omar demanded a public apology, leading Bullets to demand Omar apologize for "anti-American, antisemitic, anti-police rhetoric."  They're not meeting for coffee.  Nor is Kevin McCarthy coming out of his hidey-hole to get involved.  

We have a late entry in the Trumpette cat fight.  Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) had her faith sorely tested on January 6 and grieves over how the riot wiped out Trump's "legacy" of incompetence and racism, leaving his party to "start over."  Words only, she never voted for impeachment or did anything else on the record, but King Donald exiled her anyway.  Anyway, she and Big Marge are slinging mud  on the Twitter machine, calling each other stuff like "trash" and "pro-abort" and "batshit."  China and Taiwan even got dragged in.  Read it, it's hilarious.  Big Marge spends most of her time pumping iron and wheedling estrogen tablets out of Ronny Jackson, but Mace has committees; you'd think she had more important things to do.  Female scorpions in a bottle are such fun.  (If I may, Nancy, don't waste time correcting Margie's spelling.  Others have tried.)

As of this hour, the most clicked-on article in today's Guardian is "The Life and Tragic Death of John Eyers -- A Fitness Fanatic Who Refused the Vaccine."  So I clicked.  Eyers was a bodybuilder, mountain climber and triathlon competitor who evidently thought a rock-bottom BMI would render him immune to a virus.  He was wrong.  Turned out he had a chromosomal anomaly that made him dangerously susceptible to it.  His twin sister got the vaccine.  She doesn't climb mountains but she's fine.  Maybe taking medical advice from Russian media is not such a great idea.

The pro-virus camp has drawn all the gobbledygook from its weapons locker and backed up the truck at Fox News.  Faux ophthalmologist Rand Paul accused Anthony Fauci of "hubris," which must have puzzled most of his Kentucky Konstituents.  That was just the curtain raiser.  Lara Logan compared Fauci to Josef Mengele, drawing a rebuke from the American Jewish Committee.  Not to be out-dumbed, Baby Tuckoo Carlson called him "an even shorter version of Benito Mussolini."  So you don't like fascists?  Would that make you...antifa?  Sort this out, would you?  /s/ Confused in the Low Country

Let us go then, you and I, to the gobbledygook mother ship, the Q Continuum.  A paid-up member named Danny Warren wrote an open letter to Trump Himself complaining about promises broken.  The Great Awakening promised for "Red October" awoke nobody; not a single cannibalistic pedophilic Democrat was arrested/executed.  Not even in November, with just nine hours to go.  Warren is tired of waiting for "my  President and his crews of patriots [to] take back our country and our freedom."  He cc'd Michael Flynn, Xi Jinping, Vladimir Putin and John F. Kennedy, Jr.  I thought it was a put-on by Andy Borowitz or somebody at McSweeney's until he brought up his wife and her autoimmune disorder.   This poor fool is suffering.  Trump's heedless, selfish cruelty is turned even on his most pathetically loyal followers.  For him there are no consequences.  He's Daisy Buchanan.  He wants to debate just about anyone on the "Real Big Lie" because he can't accept that he's a loser.  He would rather damage irreparably the country that gave him, a dumb, talentless slob, an amazing life.  He wants the open wounds he inflicted never to heal.  And he promises "a ratings bonanza for television!"  In the words of a real President, "Would you shut up, man?"

On second thought, I've got someone you can debate.  Father Sergiy of Yekaterinburg is right up your street.  A former Soviet cop born Nikolai Romanov (if you can believe that), he was an early covid denier who denounced his government's efforts to stem the pandemic as "Satan's electronic camp."  When vaccines were introduced he embraced the whole microchip madness.  He openly preached that followers should "die for Russia," like the end of Khovanshchina.  So far, so good, but then he denounced Vladimir Putin as a "traitor to the Motherland"  organizing a "satanic world government."  Father Sergiy, who has already done time for assault, robbery and murder, is about to do more for "breaching the freedom of conscience" and "arbitrary moves."  (I love Russian law talk.)  In three and a half years he should be out and full of even more gobbledygook. 

Robin Steenman -- here she is, rocking the Margie Greene look -- is head of the Williamson County Moms For Liberty.  She has filed the first complaint under Tennessee's No Teaching About Our Racism law, having discovered books about school integration in the 1960s were being used six decades later.  But the state education department refused to take action because they remember the 1920s and don't want to look like hillbilly extras in Inherit the Wind again.  Sorry, Mom.  You should get in touch with Bill Lee.  Not the governor, the pitcher.  He'll set you straight.