Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Only supposed to blow the bloody doors off

 Trumpty-dumpty ordered a wall...












...and this happened.  In the largely uninhabited part of Arizona, far from the cities desperate for rain, a monsoon came through.  Because Nature, a lady who combines the hauteur of Maggie Smith and the exasperation of Nancy Pelosi confronting a particularly stupid freshman, has had it with us.

Not exactly formidable before the wind blew hard, was it?  Long before politics, when his fondest wish was not to be laughed at by Manhattan's haute monde, the name Trump was already associated with shoddy construction.  At least this piece of crap is asbestos-free.

But the grift goes on:



  









Yes, for only $45 you can proudly display a pile of shit on your chest.  For when your Kevin McCarthy "MORON" shirt is in the wash.   Can they tell him you stepped in it up?  (Hanger not included.)

In other entrepreneurial news, Blackwater founder and Betsy DeVos sibling Erik Prince has chartered a plane and will fly well-off Afghanis out of the country for a very reasonable $6,500.  Extras include cutting a path through the Taliban to the airport in Kabul and presumably Halal meals on the flight.  It's not clear where the mission of mercy will land, maybe Paris for those with reservations at the Ritz.  Prince made millions off the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, and he just wants to give back.  I'm calling the Albert Schweitzer people.

Oh, and Hillary Clinton is also trying to fly women out of Afghanistan.  Free.

Jessica Rosenworcel is acting chair of the Federal Communications Commission but she isn't waiting for confirmation.  The FCC just announced a fine of $5,134,500 against popular comedy team Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl for the stunt they pulled last year, robocalling Black and Latino voters in Ohio, Michigan and New York to threaten dire consequences if they voted by mail.  The pair identified themselves by name on the call so there's not a lot of wiggle-room; criminal prosecutions are proceeding in Ohio and Michigan.  Well, Martin & Lewis didn't last forever, either.

Governor Kathy Hochul isn't wasting time either.  She named state Senator Brian Benjamin of Harlem as lieutenant governor, and she revealed that Andrew Cuomo's number of state covid deaths was too low by 12,000 because it omitted people who died at home or in hospices.  Cuomo has been stripped of his honorary Emmy Award -- not for cooking the numbers but for moral turpitude.  Yep, he's on that list with Bill Cosby and Kevin Spacey, disgracing the industry that brought us Love Island and The Apprentice.

Now we can have this debate again:  Is it ever all right to shave in a restaurant?  Rudolph Giuliani was observed doing so in the Delta lounge at JFK --  is he homeless already?  Rupert Hawksley says it's no big deal but he seems to be talking about airport bathrooms, not a table where people eat.  Where would Hawksley draw the line?  Clipping toenails into someone's soup?  Applying shoe polish to one's hair before a very important hearing on election fraud?  Changing socks?

You've seen the chaos and desperation at the Kabul airport.  And you probably thought, "You know what they need?  A couple of visiting Congressmen."  That's why Seth Moulton (D-MA) and Peter Meijer (R-MI) grabbed the next flight to do some "fact-finding."  Yes, they're up for re-election next year, what an odd question. 

Wait, wait, don't amaze me -- the NRA cancelled its annual meeting in Houston after a number of gun dealers pulled out over covid concerns.  And today's snarkmaster is NPR's Peter Sagal:  "Weak trash.  In my day the NRA would insist the solution to widespread COVID deaths is to make sure everybody had a COVID of their own."

(rimshot)   




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