Friday, August 20, 2021

Puzzling evidence

 I don't expect the world to make sense, but I expect to see it trying.  So many people saying and doing things and not even making the effort causes me sadness and confusion.

In spite of the evidence we have all seen and heard, the FBI just doesn't think the coup of January 6 was a coup ("scant evidence" of coordination).  Yes, several thousand people just happened to gather on the Ellipse in colorful costumes with crutches, bats, bear spray, zip ties and a gallows, just happened to draw inspiration from the eloquence of Trump and Mo Brooks (who just happened to be wearing a Kevlar vest), just happened to get a wild idea to invade the Capitol, just happened to know the way to obscure offices like Jim Clyburn's -- can I stop writing "just happened" now?  Hundreds have been arrested but most are "unaffiliated" with terrorist organizations that have names so...maybe the feds need a little more imagination.   Their conclusions will no doubt encourage the next mob of terrorists scheduled to visit the Capitol on September 18, demanding "justice" for the first mob.  Why not?  They have a permit.

Will there be a special shout-out to Floyd Ray Roseberry?  He shut down Capitol Hill yesterday when he parked his truck in front of the Library of Congress and claimed it was a bomb.  (He had bomb ingredients but had not yet assembled them.)  All he wanted was a call from Joe Biden, the resignations of all the Democratic senators and someone to listen to his complaints about Afghanistan, which he probably could not find on a map.  (They always zero in on libraries.  I'm sure the Taliban will be burning all the non-Korans they can find by next week, when they're tired of beating up women.)  Floyd Ray has already found a fan:  Mo Brooks!  "I understand citizenry anger directed at dictatorial Socialism and its threat to liberty, freedom and the very fabric of American society," Congressman Kevlar tweeted.  It looks like Trumputsch 2.0 has found its keynote speaker.

Purdue Pharma, maker of OxyContin, is a privately held company and all its assets are in the hands of the Sackler family.  Nevertheless Richard Sackler insists in bankruptcy court that his family is not responsible for the opioid epidemic that has killed half a million Americans so far.  They accepted the billions of dollars in profits but they don't accept the blame.  Well, bankruptcy law has nothing to do with morality so they may get away with it.  Lots of universities and museums have quietly expunged the Sackler name; let's see if they return the money.

President Xi Jinping told the Communist Party's central financial and economic affairs commission that the government will "regulate excessively high incomes" and "encourage" China's many billionaires to "return more to society."  Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren sound more radical than that.  Communism certainly has changed since Stalin killed millions of Ukrainian and Russian peasants just for resisting collectivization. 

Elizabeth Johnson, Jr, was convicted of witchcraft in 1693 but not executed.  Her conviction has stood for 328 years but it looks like she will finally be exonerated by Massachusetts.  So why is it so hard to get Kevin Strickland released in Missouri, where he has been locked up for 47 years for three murders that the current prosecutor says he didn't do?  Mr. Strickland is 62, uses a wheelchair and has had several heart attacks.  He poses as much danger to society as Elizabeth Johnson.

Earlier this month a bunch of Indiana University students sued the school over its requirement that they receive the covid vaccine instead of bringing their viruses on campus.  After lower courts found the directive Constitutional the students appealed to Amy Coney Barrett, considered reliably nutzoid -- and she let it stand.  Today some Chicagoans asked her for an injunction to stop construction of the Obama Presidential Center in Jackson Park and she said no.  How long before Trump starts denouncing his worst appointee as a "Woke Leftist who is BAD for our Country!!"?  (For what it's worth, I don't think they should be building in a city park either.)

Federal election data indicates that 95 percent of eligible adults in Georgia are registered to vote, because Stacey Abrams is that awesome.  The new voter suppression laws had better be explicitly James Crow.

The coronavirus closed out another successful week by infecting three fully-vaccinated Senators right across the spectrum:  Roger Wicker (R-MS), Angus King (I-ME) and John Hickenlooper (D-CO).  Take the hint and the vaccine.

"First you bring out all of the American citizens.  Then you bring out ALL equipment.  Then you bomb the bases into smithereens -- AND THEN YOU BRING OUT THE MILITARY...No chaos, no death -- they wouldn't even know we left!"  Can you guess?  Who values "equipment" ahead of the military?  Who thinks all that bombing would be unchaotic, harmless and quiet?  Who hasn't thought this (or anything else) through in seventy-five years?  And is a stable genius?  Have a brass figlagee with bronze oakleaf palm.

In Florida ("Vote Republican and Find Out!"), each day brings another unpleasant surprise.  Residents of Orlando are being told to limit water use because of a shortage of liquid oxygen, which is used to treat the city's water.  It's also used to keep covid patients alive.  Without treatment the water smells like rotten eggs, or Ron DeSantis's politics.  (Pretty sure this does not apply to Disney World or other tourist traps, but call first.)  Meanwhile in Jacksonville patients are crowding the Josef Mengele Center for the monoclonal treatment promoted by DeSantis patron Ken Griffin.  

And that, as C.J. Cregg would say, is a full lid.







  




       

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