Schadenfreude Sunday

 He called Covid a "scamdemic."  He called Anthony Fauci a "power tripping lying freak."  He said vaccines were "bullshid."  And today Death (played by John Cleese) said, "You're dead now, so SHUT UP!"  Dick Farrel, longtime Florida hate jock, will clog the airwaves no more.  Yep, covid.  He even looked like an asshole. 

 

See?  Asshole.

I'm a little giddy because the ugliest Olympics in memory are now over.  It's too damn hot in Tokyo at this time of year (the last Tokyo games took place in October) and everybody is in a lousy mood.  A German coach named Kim Raisner was thrown out for punching a horse that refused to jump in the modern pentathlon.  The US men didn't do as well as they thought they should in track and field, and then they got scolded by Carl Lewis.  Japan beat the US in baseball, which will be dropped in 2024 in favor of breakdancing.  (That can't be right.  Yes, I checked, breakdancing.)  Sajad Ganzjadeh of Iran won the first-ever gold in karate after Tareg Hamedi of Saudi Arabia was disqualified for knocking him unconscious; isn't that why it's a martial art?  All the empty seats seem to have bummed out the competitors.  The Olympics were cancelled in 1916 and again in 1940 and 1944, for obvious reasons.  Would it have been so awful to cancel 2020 outright?  Oh, yes, NBC.  I forgot.  

But nothing is going to spoil my good mood today.  I'm even happy for the Trumpanzees who got $135 million refunded by the RNC and the Forever President, who engaged in "deceptive tactics" like signing them up for repeat donations when they only wanted to give once.  Wait till they find out their "Offical Trump Cards" aren't even good at Chik-Fil-A.  (Hobby Lobby might be a different story.)  

I'm pleased to report there is a new tinfoil-helmet conspiracy theory in the never-ending attempt to overturn the election.  This is a honey:  Jeffrey Clark, in charge of turning the DOJ into Trump's long-sought Roy Cohn, told department officials that Chinese election hackers were changing votes with digital thermometers (presumably rectal).  The House Oversight Committee has his emails:  "A Dominion voting machine accessed the internet through a smart thermostat with a net connection trail leading back to China," using the Italian satellite, the Venezuelan server and Hunter Biden's laptop, probably.  Dominion's lawyers suing Clark for $1.6 billion by...I'm going to say Wednesday.

Unforgettable summer story:  Four kids at a camp in Massachusetts discovered a decomposing body in the woods while gathering firewood.  

I declare the war is over -- the War On Terror, that is.  Must be, because General Stanley McChrystal told Spencer Ackerman of the Daily Beast "it would be impossible to argue" that it was worth fighting.  Well.  Sounds like we failed to win.  No tickertape parade for him.  How shall we spend the peace dividend?  Yes, I'm joking, just like the last time.

Dr. Sarah Gilbert of Oxford, co-developer of the Oxford/AstraZeneca covid vaccine, is already a Dame Commander of the British Empire.  She has now received an honor even more rare:  a Barbie Doll in her image.  The new generation of Barbie are dressed as doctors, nurses, researchers and frontline workers.  "Woke Barbie" is bound to enrage the idiots, none more than Margie Greene.  Only the other day she was praising Alabamians for their low vaccination rate and urging them to answer the door by pointing rifles at vaccine canvassers.  Sorry, Marge, Gun-Toting Asshole Barbie is indefinitely postponed.

Hey, Donnie, wassamatta, no "message"?  You have nothing to say about the US women winning their seventh gold in basketball?  Are they woke leftist lunatics, Donnie?  They look woke to me.