Top of the world, Pa!
Dr. Rick Bright lost his job because he wouldn't promote hydroxychloroquine, Trump's magic potion of last month, for Covid. Turns out he was absolutely right. The "game changer" is actually more of a "life ender," even if you don't take the related chemical designed to disinfect aquariums.
It was hard to hear Trump apologizing to Dr. Bright because of all the truck drivers blowing their horns on Constitution Avenue during Friday's Rose Garden Picnic of Lies. He immediately decided the racket was a salute to him -- "a sign of love" was the actual vomit-inducing phrase. In fact, the truckers were protesting low shipping rates. It's not at all pathetic, is it? Also, of course there was no apology.
Instead, he pitched another miracle cure, the vaccine that will be available in January but only if he is re-elected, or re-appointed, or just refuses to leave. Moncef Slaoui is the Big Pharma guy chosen to run the program by all-around expert Jared Kushner, so everything is under control. Trump put his tiny finger on the problem: "When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn't do any testing we would have very few cases." Damn! He's right! And we wouldn't need vents or vaccine, and they wouldn't be dead. Stop the tests (except for the White House). Problem solved.
And now on to important stuff: There's a Space Force Flag to go with the "super duper missile," which is the way big grownup presidents talk. Let's see those illegal space aliens start some shit now.
Trump does not like inspectors general, those Deep State operatives constantly making trouble for his henchmen. Out they go! Who will replace them? Lindsey Graham is being cloned at this hour. Senator Collins wants you to know she has "long been a strong advocate" for IGs and co-authored pre-Trump legislation (which means it doesn't apply to him) to require some presidential justification for removing them. But as long as he learned his lesson back in February, her "conscience" is clear. Perhaps Maine will be the first state ever to have two Independent senators. That would be something, huh?
In today's crazypants news, an Alaska state legislator named Ben Carpenter compared the health-screening stickers required to enter the capitol to yellow stars that Jews were forced to wear in Nazi Germany. There seems to be some confusion on the right, with half the Trumpanzees calling everyone they disagree with a Nazi and the other half decorating their pickups with swastikas. Maybe call a Kloncilium and sort this out, brothers. And maybe stop comparing Governor Gretchen Whitmer to Hitler because she won't let you go to the mall. Hitler would have shot you in the street and burned down your favorite biker bar. Watch the History Channel, he's on it every week, you fat whining imbeciles. Speaking of which...
Trump has never been invited to deliver a commencement address, ever, not even at the fake military school his parents hoped would teach him to make his bed and distinguish his right foot from his left. He likes to barge in on the real military academies because they can't stop him. So he was predictably enraged when Barack Obama was asked to make a virtual speech to thousands of graduates who are missing their ceremonies. The envy, it scalds. Must take back his Noble Prize!
Here we go: Junior Trump has already given up on Tara Reade and decided to call Joe Biden a pedophile instead. Not to be outdone, little brother Eric says coronavirus is a fiendish Democratic plot which will "magically disappear" when it fails to end his father's reign of peace and prosperity. And the dead -- well over a hundred thousand by then -- shall be raised incorruptible. If these two were not so loathsome, they would be pitiable in their need for love from someone who doesn't know what it is.
It was hard to hear Trump apologizing to Dr. Bright because of all the truck drivers blowing their horns on Constitution Avenue during Friday's Rose Garden Picnic of Lies. He immediately decided the racket was a salute to him -- "a sign of love" was the actual vomit-inducing phrase. In fact, the truckers were protesting low shipping rates. It's not at all pathetic, is it? Also, of course there was no apology.
Instead, he pitched another miracle cure, the vaccine that will be available in January but only if he is re-elected, or re-appointed, or just refuses to leave. Moncef Slaoui is the Big Pharma guy chosen to run the program by all-around expert Jared Kushner, so everything is under control. Trump put his tiny finger on the problem: "When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn't do any testing we would have very few cases." Damn! He's right! And we wouldn't need vents or vaccine, and they wouldn't be dead. Stop the tests (except for the White House). Problem solved.
And now on to important stuff: There's a Space Force Flag to go with the "super duper missile," which is the way big grownup presidents talk. Let's see those illegal space aliens start some shit now.
Trump does not like inspectors general, those Deep State operatives constantly making trouble for his henchmen. Out they go! Who will replace them? Lindsey Graham is being cloned at this hour. Senator Collins wants you to know she has "long been a strong advocate" for IGs and co-authored pre-Trump legislation (which means it doesn't apply to him) to require some presidential justification for removing them. But as long as he learned his lesson back in February, her "conscience" is clear. Perhaps Maine will be the first state ever to have two Independent senators. That would be something, huh?
In today's crazypants news, an Alaska state legislator named Ben Carpenter compared the health-screening stickers required to enter the capitol to yellow stars that Jews were forced to wear in Nazi Germany. There seems to be some confusion on the right, with half the Trumpanzees calling everyone they disagree with a Nazi and the other half decorating their pickups with swastikas. Maybe call a Kloncilium and sort this out, brothers. And maybe stop comparing Governor Gretchen Whitmer to Hitler because she won't let you go to the mall. Hitler would have shot you in the street and burned down your favorite biker bar. Watch the History Channel, he's on it every week, you fat whining imbeciles. Speaking of which...
Trump has never been invited to deliver a commencement address, ever, not even at the fake military school his parents hoped would teach him to make his bed and distinguish his right foot from his left. He likes to barge in on the real military academies because they can't stop him. So he was predictably enraged when Barack Obama was asked to make a virtual speech to thousands of graduates who are missing their ceremonies. The envy, it scalds. Must take back his Noble Prize!
Here we go: Junior Trump has already given up on Tara Reade and decided to call Joe Biden a pedophile instead. Not to be outdone, little brother Eric says coronavirus is a fiendish Democratic plot which will "magically disappear" when it fails to end his father's reign of peace and prosperity. And the dead -- well over a hundred thousand by then -- shall be raised incorruptible. If these two were not so loathsome, they would be pitiable in their need for love from someone who doesn't know what it is.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:33 PM
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