Beat the Reaper!
If China has now turned the corner on COVID-19, thank Mike Pompeo and the State Department. Seven weeks ago they shipped 17.8 tons of medical supplies to the country that was in a "trade war" with us only hours earlier, including personal protective equipment and ventilators. They bragged about it on February 7, while the World Health Organization was warning of critical shortages all over the world. But President Xi brushed them aside, assuring Trump that the virus would disappear "like magic" as soon as the weather got warm. He would never criticize Trump or call him the dumbest sack of shit he ever met, so he's very sharp and smart and more deserving than those governors with their overcrowded hospitals. I hope China is done with the ventilators and could return them now, please.
But New York doesn't need vents. Trump says so. He also accused New York hospitals of "hoarding" ventilators and suggested face masks are being stolen by the help, most of them are not even American, they have all kinds of foreign names when you see them on the lamestream media. Then he said even more gibberish on Fox & Friends (you can read it or watch it or wait for Yastreblyansky to present it in verse form at The Rectification of Names). You'll need to take notes as he ranges over poll numbers, windmills, WALL, James Comey, Joe Biden, cows, trucks and World War II, in which apparently Germany was our enemy. And because sometimes he inadvertently tells the truth, he acknowledged that letting everybody vote would doom the Republicans. I swear, he said it.
Liberty University is open for business, and they're Claude-Rains-level shocked to find a dozen students reporting COVID-like symptoms. Most are self-isolating in the dorms, so expect more cases of Mar-a-Lago plague. But not all religious institutions are being unhelpful -- a Christian group called Samaritan's Purse is building an emergency hospital in New York's Central Park. In the largest city of the richest country on earth, you could wind up in a MASH unit. Meanwhile Chad Chronister, who is sheriff of Hillsborough County, Florida, and not a Game of Thrones character, issued an arrest warrant for an evangelical pastor who defied orders and held services yesterday. Expect much whining about persecuted Christians.
These women! The one in Michigan and that mayor in New Orleans and always, Nancy Pelosi, who seems to think he hasn't done enough. Trump not only called her a "sick puppy," but threatened to "take over" San Francisco and "clean it up." It's practically a giant crack house! It keeps electing her! Must do better. One day, and may it be soon, she'll needle him into a straitjacket. Let's hope there's video.
As he likes to say, Cadet Bonespurs is a wartime president. Unfortunately, the wartime president he resembles is Jefferson Davis. An unrepentant racist elected by a minority of Americans, he tore the country apart, lost the war, and at the very least should have died in prison.
And now go listen to some Sondheim. Not much of a ninetieth birthday for our greatest living composer.
But New York doesn't need vents. Trump says so. He also accused New York hospitals of "hoarding" ventilators and suggested face masks are being stolen by the help, most of them are not even American, they have all kinds of foreign names when you see them on the lamestream media. Then he said even more gibberish on Fox & Friends (you can read it or watch it or wait for Yastreblyansky to present it in verse form at The Rectification of Names). You'll need to take notes as he ranges over poll numbers, windmills, WALL, James Comey, Joe Biden, cows, trucks and World War II, in which apparently Germany was our enemy. And because sometimes he inadvertently tells the truth, he acknowledged that letting everybody vote would doom the Republicans. I swear, he said it.
Liberty University is open for business, and they're Claude-Rains-level shocked to find a dozen students reporting COVID-like symptoms. Most are self-isolating in the dorms, so expect more cases of Mar-a-Lago plague. But not all religious institutions are being unhelpful -- a Christian group called Samaritan's Purse is building an emergency hospital in New York's Central Park. In the largest city of the richest country on earth, you could wind up in a MASH unit. Meanwhile Chad Chronister, who is sheriff of Hillsborough County, Florida, and not a Game of Thrones character, issued an arrest warrant for an evangelical pastor who defied orders and held services yesterday. Expect much whining about persecuted Christians.
These women! The one in Michigan and that mayor in New Orleans and always, Nancy Pelosi, who seems to think he hasn't done enough. Trump not only called her a "sick puppy," but threatened to "take over" San Francisco and "clean it up." It's practically a giant crack house! It keeps electing her! Must do better. One day, and may it be soon, she'll needle him into a straitjacket. Let's hope there's video.
As he likes to say, Cadet Bonespurs is a wartime president. Unfortunately, the wartime president he resembles is Jefferson Davis. An unrepentant racist elected by a minority of Americans, he tore the country apart, lost the war, and at the very least should have died in prison.
And now go listen to some Sondheim. Not much of a ninetieth birthday for our greatest living composer.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 5:36 PM
2 Comments:
I resent your comparing Donald Trump to Jefferson Davis. Davis was capable for formulating and then articulating a strategy .And he didn't even have a Jared Kushner to help him.
Yours crankily,
The New York Crank
AAAnd... Bonus points for Firesign Theater reference only decipherable by those with a boomer decoder ring. * *now obligatory golf clap*
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