Nine inches

In case you couldn't push your way into the jammed arena for the Toledo Twitler Rally, that's Trump's new nickname for Adam Schiff.  At first I thought, well, maybe not Warren Beatty's neighborhood (allegedly) but close enough.  Combined with the famous assessment by certified expert Stormy Daniels, a remarkable admission.  Schiff should run for president.

Alas, no, it seems Trump has decided that's Schiff's collar size, which means he isn't fit to sit in judgment on real men with rump-roast-size necks.  Or something.  At this point it's anybody's guess what comes out when the Stable Jenius (Spellcheck just lit up but according to Frank Luntz, Republican poll guy, that's how he spells it) downs enough pills and potions to get through another Hatesapalooza.  Not only do the words make no sense, the slurring makes half of them unintelligible.
A very brave man named Evan Hurst watched the whole thing and was still sober enough to write about it so I don't have to.  (You're supposed to drink every time you hear a lie.  Evan is well known in the liver-transplant community.)

The mark of a real statesman is willingness to admit error.  President Rouhani went on Twitter to write, "The Islamic Republic of Iran deeply regrets this disastrous mistake [the destruction of the Ukrainian airliner]."  He promises to prosecute the responsible parties.  Shortly earlier, another Twitter account holder crowed:  "STOCK MARKET AT ALL-TIME HIGH!  HOW ARE YOUR 409K'S DOING?"  When someone explained that there is no such thing, he deleted it without so much as an "OOPS!"  One mistake killed 176 people; the other was arguably a typo.  Who's the nine-inch man now?