Obama Netflix?!?

Why is caffeine even legal?  I am so wasted...

Now we know what Boofer Kavanaugh wears under his robe -- nothing.

How unfair is life?  Felicity Huffman has an Oscar nomination, but she had to endure a facelift to stay viable as an actor, and she's taking all the weight for bribing her daughter's way into college.  Wasn't Macy in the room when she was criming on the phone?  Nice of him to walk her to and from court.  Not that two weeks is exactly Devil's Island, but come on.

"Funny, you don't look [ethnic]."  I always wondered who makes these determinations, and now we know.  At a hatenanny in Rancho Rio, New Mexico, Trump singled out Steve Cortes of his "Hispanic Advisory Council" for highest praise:  "He looks more like a WASP than I do."  Good work, Steve.  Hispanic support for Querido Lider seems to be thin in the Land of Enchantment -- there were cars from as far away as Nebraska.  Those people probably look fairly WASPy, too.

Colin Kaepernick has won an Emmy for his two-minute Nike commercial.  I'll save you some time:  "Failing Emmy awards again demenstrate they hate our Country!  Very very bad.  Hollywood leftist liberals are Enemy of the People!"

Speaking of showbiz, Trump still wants somebody to "investigate" this outrageous "contract" between a private company (Netflix) and two private citizens (Michelle and Barack Obama), which was probably signed for the purpose of making "money."  I guess he's worried that they'll reveal the names of intelligence assets in places like Russia and Saudi Arabia.  

Our old friend Sean Spicer told reporters he got the highest score and the most praise of any contestant who ever appeared on Dancing With the Stars.  He can't help himself.

Elizabeth Warren's rally in New York City drew a bigger crowd than Trump's "inauguration."  Show him the pictures, someone.

And then show him pictures of Elton John's last tour.  According to the New York Times, Trump has an unhealthy obsession with Sir Elton, probably based on his love of music.  I joke, of course.  To respond to music one must have some sort of emotional life not involving cruelty and hate.  By the way, Hitler loved opera.  Anyway, the article is not just for mental health professionals.  Trump seems to think that by calling Kim Jong-un "Little Rocket Man" (before they fell in love) and then presenting him with one of Elton John's CDs, he pretty much is responsible for the singer/songwriter's long career.  So why wouldn't Elton John perform at the "inauguration"?  Crowd wasn't big enough.  By some estimates there are more people in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and some of them refused to show up.

If you leave the cable news on while you work, keep the remote handy and your thumb cocked for the mute button.  Jeanine Pirro has committed a book and is sure to be promoting it anyplace they'll have her, including the Lamestream Enemy of the People media like CNN.  Her voice and her opinions have been known to cause seizures.

Todd and Sarah Palin are pffft.  (I recently watched The Sweet Smell of Success and I'm feeling a bit Winchell.  Is Martin Milner not the least believable jazz musician in the history of movies?)

I just checked, and nobody is avenging the drone attacks on Saudi oil refineries yet.  So there's that.  John Bolton is crying in his room.

Just the other day David Cameron was saying how much he regretted calling that Stay/Leave referendum.  Today the tone-deaf Jeremy Corbyn says he'll put the Brexit deal/no deal up to the voters.  Why is this man in politics instead of teaching at a lesser Cambridge college and writing op-eds for the Independent?

If you think Antonio Brown is just another NFL star/accused rapist, read this.

What if the Obamas win an Emmy for their first Netflix show?  Oh, the humanity!