Friday, September 13, 2019

Friday the 967th

All right, I've polished off the gin and I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

He explained that Bahamian refugees who are lucky to have shoes, much less passports, can't come in because they are "very bad drug dealers," among other qualities he associates exclusively with the dark-skinned.  If I were a semi-competent drug dealer, I would have made contingency plans to be somewhere not in the path of a Category 5 hurricane, but that's me.

He repeated his monologue about the dangers of any power not generated by fossil fuel ("the wind is very expensive").  He thinks the lights go off when the wind drops because he is an imbecile who does not know how storage batteries work.

He sent Senior Daddy-Fluffer Ivanka to Wyoming to praise him before a gathering of Cheney clones.  She says she got her "moral compass" from Daddy because somebody told her it's a good thing to have.  She also cited her current step-mother for showing her "how to be a powerful and successful woman" (sic).  No mention of her biological mother, who has accused God's Anointed of raping her, and who reportedly took him to the proverbial cleaners.

He complained that energy-efficient light bulbs make his skin look orange.  Even outdoors, apparently.

He temporarily stopped whining that the National Weather Service accurately predicted the path of Hurricane Dorian to make him look bad, and began insisting he had fired John Bolton, who did not quit.  Fired.  Because he's a stupid liberal working for the Deep State.  Also he just can't get along with Kim Jong-un, a wonderful leader with a beautiful vision for his country, and possibly several neighboring ones.  Kim tested two more missiles this week.

He finally came up with a disparaging nickname for Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.  "I call her Cortez."  Snap!

He repeated the lie about watching the World Trade Center collapse from his window, the same window that showed him Muslims dancing in the streets of Hoboken/Jersey City/Montreal.

He had Commerce Secretary and Ed Wynn Lookalike Contest finalist Wilbur Ross order the firing of the NWS officials who failed to direct the hurricane to Obama.  Alabama!  Fake news!

He encouraged the First Escort to issue an insipid tweet about the evils of vaping.  More children have been shot to death in St. Louis this summer than have died from e-cigarettes.  #BeClueless

He wants the government to solve the problem of homelessness, but only in California.  Best guess:  more concentration camps.

He's found a place in the Cabinet/Bible Study Circle for another worthless piece of shit, Eugene "Ninospawn" Scalia.  His views on workplace sexual harassment will cheer Harvey Weinstein and surprise no one.  Welcome your new Secretary of Labor.

Right.  Round the back for the old brandy!


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