Lives w/mom, has no brains

I wasn't going to bother with this sideshow, but "corruptness" triggered the long-buried English teacher in me.  Also that picture, which should be a tee shirt to wear with your MAGA hat.

I won't go into the details, which are abundantly available at Wonkette.com and elsewhere, but Wohl is a twenty-year-old pisher who may not live with his mother but uses her voicemail.  So anyway he and his friend Jack Berkman got together three weeks ago to establish a company called SureFire Intelligence.  (That's not the joke.)  Berkman evidently aspires to be the Republican Dick Tuck, which is still not the joke.  This -- I don't know, detective agency like Spade & Archer? -- was supposedly approached by a woman, or maybe a lot of women, who had #MeToo dirt to dish on -- and now here's the joke -- ROBERT MUELLER.  Which would discredit him so much he would slink away and maybe even go to prison for rape, but in any case stop the witch-hunting of patriotic Americans who would never collude with Russians, as if Trump needed help from Russians to win the most votes ever, much less money from Russians to shore up his incompetently run businesses -- where was I?

Sorry, it's easy to get shunted onto a siding in this story.  So SureFire calls a press conference at a Holiday Inn in Virginia to introduce the woman Mueller got fresh with years ago when he was in a completely different city.  Only she's so afraid for her life that she doesn't show up or even give the partners her right name, which might be Caroline or Carolyn or Cass or Theodosia, who can ever tell with these women who are usually lying about being assaulted?  (Says Berkman.)  Like the women who told various reporters that these two geniuses offered them money to sign false affidavits accusing Mueller, who did give their names and which even I know is referred to in the business as "suborning perjury."  And these women, unlike Theodosia, have spoken to the FBI instead of the Fly-By-Night Detective Agency and Screen Door Company.

There's much more.  By all means treat yourself to the video of the press conference, where I understand one of the geniuses had his fly open.  (Possibly a signal to the QAnon Continuum.)  Then join me in reciting our new Pledge of Allegiance:  "In a world full of corruptness..."