Shondas

Her black coat was at the cleaners, along with his black tie.  Right?  This is not how you dress for a funeral.

But how would he know that?  It's the third time this year Trump has been uninvited to one.  The Bush family requested that he not attend the funeral of Barbara Bush, though Melania was welcome.  John McCain himself said he didn't want Trump at his funeral, probably in language he learned in the Navy.  Today the first victims of the Tree of Life massacre were buried.  The mayor of Pittsburgh, the Allegheny County executive, the governor of Pennsylvania and thousands of signatories to an open letter from Arc of Justice told Trump to stay away, for emotional as well as security reasons.  And so, having all the sensitivity of an Easter Island statue, there he is.

Making up the party was evidently a struggle.  Despite the old trick of telling A that B has agreed to something B knows nothing about, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and others all had previous engagements.  Ivanka and Jared went along to remind everyone that Trump has Jews in the family.  Nobody met them on the tarmac except the Secret Service agents with the big car and some demonstrators with signs.  Thousands of people were in the streets, and none of them were chanting "Build the wall!" or "Lock her up!"  They were singing.

When they got to the cemetery, Melania was carrying a flat white box.  For one awful moment I thought it was a pizza.  Crazy, right?  But then, that jacket -- "I REALLY DON'T CARE DO U" -- nothing is impossible with these people.  It turned out to be memorial stones, traditionally placed on the grave markers.  Because why take a chance on local minerals?  I'm sure they were purchased at some place that sells high-end garden supplies, steam cleaned and wrapped in tissue paper from Henri Bendel.  They shook hands with the rabbi and some stiff-faced mourners and flew away.  Trump has a big week of scaring the crackers and demonizing George Soros ahead, and Melania has to scold some cyberbullies and encourage kids to BE BEST.  As long as they have American great-grandparents, are reasonably white, and don't identify as transgender.

Look at the picture up there.  That's his solemn face, the one where he's thinking, "Don't wave, don't fist-pump, pretend to be sad, I wonder if I'll be home in time for Hannity, very sad, no collusion, I shouldn't have had all that Coke, does this Jewish church have a bathroom, sad, SAD."  From next Wednesday on, I want him to have that face for real, all the time.  Until it breaks.  And falls off.