Saturday, August 04, 2018

Dick Tuck's last hurrah

Last May, Dick Tuck died at the age of 94.  Tuck was a legendary Democratic Party strategist and hoaxer whose special joy it was to torment the humorless Richard Nixon (hiring garbage trucks to park outside the 1964 convention in San Francisco with signs that said DUMP NIXON, for instance).  At the end of his life, he created the ultimate prank, the conspiracy theory known as "QAnon," predicated on the fact that stupid people are stupid, and that Trumpism was crafted for the stupid.  The name is based on Al Anon, the support organization for the families of alcoholics; that's a bit mean, but it creates a sense of authenticity if you don't think too long or hard about it.  "Q" is actually a level of security clearance in the Department of Energy, but hardly anyone knows or cares about that.  To conspiracy mongers, QAnon is a person or group of persons working to bring down the "Deep State" and save the nation from Hillary Clinton, John Podesta, James Comey and all the other Usual Suspects who -- borrowing from Pizzagate -- are operating a pedophilia ring so vast, no one knows its true dimensions (possibly including colonies on Mars).  Is that nutty enough for you?  Needless to say, the "fake news" media are key to this plot, attempting to distract True Patriots with a constant stream of stories about the Helsinki surrender, Paul Manafort, North Korea's nuclear plans, climate change and similar trivialities -- as one Trumpanzee put it, the media have been "weaponized by the CIA."   Yes, the CIA is in on it, the DIA, the FBI, the IRS, the Federal Reserve, and of course [insert shadowy organization here].  Only Trump can save us.  He said so.  

Tuck gave himself away, deliberately I think, when he included Tom Hanks on his list of pedophile-plotters.*  How he must have laughed at the thought of all these poor dumb fish taking the bait, the hook, the rod itself.  The best jokes are cruel.  And cruelty is usually deserved.  The grotesques with the tiki torches are impervious to reason, but not to laughter.  Well done, Mr. Tuck.

*I'm reminded of Christopher Durang's play Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You, where the title character reels off a list of people who are going to hell, concluding with Betty Comden and Adolphe Green.  Why?  Well, why not?    


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