Laughed behind
Last Monday, April 23, was Rapture Day. By now the Saved are supposed to be gone, little heaps of soiled clothing and MAGA hats marking the places they last occupied. Maybe they got the date wrong for the 8,576th time.
For the Left Behind, which is a great name for a band, it was the usual busy day -- Shakespeare's birthday, St. George's Day, and the arrival of another royal mouth for the taxpayers to feed. Little Prince Whozis (I can't be bothered looking it up) weighed eight pounds and something, and he and the woman everybody still calls Kate Middleton went home within hours. Huzza.
Police in California arrested Joseph DeAngelo, 72, in the Golden State Killer case, the crime spree that involved twelve dead and over fifty women raped. There were so many serial killers and rapists at large in the 1970s that I knew nothing of this case until Patton Oswald's wife Michelle McNamara died last year. She had been researching it for years and was close to completing a book, I'll Be Gone In the Dark. That's a good coincidence. What's chilling is the way the police closed in, by using DNA information voluntarily sent to a site called GEDmatch, one of these enterprises where people seek out relatives and other genealogical information. I've been worried by these things for a long time, only in part because of the whimsically dumb commercials. You know: I thought I was German but it turns out I'm Scottish, so I burned my lederhosen and learned to toss the caber. They all sell the notion that knowing where your ancestors came from is the key to understanding your life as a claims adjuster in Fond du Lac in 2018. This is plain silly, in my view, and in individuals already suffering from racist toxicity may lead to Charlottesville. (Or away from it -- wouldn't you love to know Richard Spencer is actually descended from a long line of Polish rabbis?) And as I suspected, the companies are compiling databases of DNA mailed in by people eager to know they're eleven percent Cherokee or something, and sharing them with the cops. Many states allow police to collect DNA from anyone convicted, or even accused, of a felony. Why make it even easier for Big Brother? All in the name of our own "convenience," I'm sure: expedited pre-flight boarding, for example. You would, wouldn't you? Especially if someone else with a similar name is "no-fly." Darkness descends.
Man, long paragraph. Well, the rest will be shorter. Cadet Bone Spurs followed up his self-incriminating performance on White Couch Bingo with another deranged tweet about Comey, ending with the mysterious phrase "Remember sailor." Many interpretations have been put forward, but I think it's a reference to Ronny Jackson, the now-you-see-him-now-you-don't Secretary of Veterans Affairs. Alone among the incompetents, grifters and buffoons who make up the cabinet of blunders, Dr. Ronny came with two theme songs: "Candy Man" (his nickname among White House drug-seekers) and "What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor?" For some reason, he withdrew his nomination yesterday, leaving Donzo to rant about "unfair" treatment and dribble vague threats about Jon Tester, the Senator who revealed the doc's sordid history. For fifty dollars and a free cheeseburger, Donzo, what state is Tester from? Thought so.
An unarmed black man named Desmond Marrow was hurled to the ground by three cops in Henry County, Georgia, today. Why is this news? Marrow used to play in the NFL, which explains why it took three cops. He reported being stunned and unable to breathe, but unlike Eric Garner, he's all right. This one might show up on "Sports Center."
Another one bites the dust (is that racist?). Rep. Patrick Meehan (R-PA), who used $39,000 in public money to settle several sexual harassment claims, has resigned from the House to avoid being investigated by his own committee. Yeah, Ethics. He promises to pay back the money, but so did Blake Farenthold. Bye, Patrick.
The ever-shrinking Congress he left behind (see what I did there?) is officially without spiritual guidance. Its chaplain, Patrick J. Conroy, was fired today by The Cowardly Ryan for a prayer asking that the tax bill's "benefits [be] balanced and shared by all Americans." This kind of globalist communist socialist propaganda is clearly out of place. Conroy is a Jesuit, like Pope Francis, and you know what nuisances they are. I don't even see why the Congress, or any other governmental organization, needs a chaplain, but insofar as this guy was afflicting the comfortable and at least trying to comfort the afflicted, Ryan seriously needs to go to hell.
For the Left Behind, which is a great name for a band, it was the usual busy day -- Shakespeare's birthday, St. George's Day, and the arrival of another royal mouth for the taxpayers to feed. Little Prince Whozis (I can't be bothered looking it up) weighed eight pounds and something, and he and the woman everybody still calls Kate Middleton went home within hours. Huzza.
Police in California arrested Joseph DeAngelo, 72, in the Golden State Killer case, the crime spree that involved twelve dead and over fifty women raped. There were so many serial killers and rapists at large in the 1970s that I knew nothing of this case until Patton Oswald's wife Michelle McNamara died last year. She had been researching it for years and was close to completing a book, I'll Be Gone In the Dark. That's a good coincidence. What's chilling is the way the police closed in, by using DNA information voluntarily sent to a site called GEDmatch, one of these enterprises where people seek out relatives and other genealogical information. I've been worried by these things for a long time, only in part because of the whimsically dumb commercials. You know: I thought I was German but it turns out I'm Scottish, so I burned my lederhosen and learned to toss the caber. They all sell the notion that knowing where your ancestors came from is the key to understanding your life as a claims adjuster in Fond du Lac in 2018. This is plain silly, in my view, and in individuals already suffering from racist toxicity may lead to Charlottesville. (Or away from it -- wouldn't you love to know Richard Spencer is actually descended from a long line of Polish rabbis?) And as I suspected, the companies are compiling databases of DNA mailed in by people eager to know they're eleven percent Cherokee or something, and sharing them with the cops. Many states allow police to collect DNA from anyone convicted, or even accused, of a felony. Why make it even easier for Big Brother? All in the name of our own "convenience," I'm sure: expedited pre-flight boarding, for example. You would, wouldn't you? Especially if someone else with a similar name is "no-fly." Darkness descends.
Man, long paragraph. Well, the rest will be shorter. Cadet Bone Spurs followed up his self-incriminating performance on White Couch Bingo with another deranged tweet about Comey, ending with the mysterious phrase "Remember sailor." Many interpretations have been put forward, but I think it's a reference to Ronny Jackson, the now-you-see-him-now-you-don't Secretary of Veterans Affairs. Alone among the incompetents, grifters and buffoons who make up the cabinet of blunders, Dr. Ronny came with two theme songs: "Candy Man" (his nickname among White House drug-seekers) and "What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor?" For some reason, he withdrew his nomination yesterday, leaving Donzo to rant about "unfair" treatment and dribble vague threats about Jon Tester, the Senator who revealed the doc's sordid history. For fifty dollars and a free cheeseburger, Donzo, what state is Tester from? Thought so.
An unarmed black man named Desmond Marrow was hurled to the ground by three cops in Henry County, Georgia, today. Why is this news? Marrow used to play in the NFL, which explains why it took three cops. He reported being stunned and unable to breathe, but unlike Eric Garner, he's all right. This one might show up on "Sports Center."
Another one bites the dust (is that racist?). Rep. Patrick Meehan (R-PA), who used $39,000 in public money to settle several sexual harassment claims, has resigned from the House to avoid being investigated by his own committee. Yeah, Ethics. He promises to pay back the money, but so did Blake Farenthold. Bye, Patrick.
The ever-shrinking Congress he left behind (see what I did there?) is officially without spiritual guidance. Its chaplain, Patrick J. Conroy, was fired today by The Cowardly Ryan for a prayer asking that the tax bill's "benefits [be] balanced and shared by all Americans." This kind of globalist communist socialist propaganda is clearly out of place. Conroy is a Jesuit, like Pope Francis, and you know what nuisances they are. I don't even see why the Congress, or any other governmental organization, needs a chaplain, but insofar as this guy was afflicting the comfortable and at least trying to comfort the afflicted, Ryan seriously needs to go to hell.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:15 PM
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