Burning man
An apartment fire on the fiftieth floor of Trump Tower this morning killed one man and injured several firefighters. The owner/developer took time out from Fox & Golf to tweet praise of the "Firemen (and women") and to celebrate the building's superior construction. This did not include sprinklers on residential floors, the owner/developer having lobbied (and in one case bribed) a number of city council members back in 1999. The tweet did not mention the dead man. I guess he knew what he was getting into.
It's been that kind of week, April foolishness competing with outright madness. It all began on Easter Sunday, when Jiggs & Juggs put on a show of amity to host the White House egg hunt. Because now we can say "Happy Easter" once again, free of Sharia constraints. The assembled kids, average age six or so, were nonplussed by an improvised speech from their host about American military prowess, which is in "tippy-top" shape now, just like the building behind him, whatever it's called. (Hint: it's a house...it's white...) This was actually coherent and appropriate, compared to the Wednesday performance in Pellagra, West Virginia, which was supposed to be about taxes but quickly turned into a raging verbal evacuation about his new obsessions, rape and caravans. So much rape. Nobody has ever seen so much rape. (This will be news to women who were living in Berlin in 1945, among other, but let it go.) So troops must be sent to the border at once to stop the rapey horde and begin turning the area into a copy of the Korean demilitarized zone, only with a Wall. The Pentagon has no planning for such an operation and the governor of Oregon, to her credit, refused to send the National Guard, but it sure impressed the Mountaineers.
Oh, it gets better, or at least funnier if you have an Ambrose Bierce streak of humor. One of America's heroes unearthed an old interview with Trump Jr., in which he talks about showering with daddy and possessing at least comparable genitalia. (Dr. Freud, pick up line one, please!) That's not at all retch-inducing. I'm glad Junior enjoys showering with men. Perhaps Mr. Mueller can arrange for him to do this on a regular basis.
Blake "Bunny Pajamas" Farenthold (R-Guess) has resigned from Congress without paying back the $84,000 he owes the taxpayers for settling a sexual harassment complaint. Maybe it's enough that he's gone.
The Cowardly Ryan and a number of fellow chickenshits are holding "closed-door town halls" this week, which sounds like an oxymoron but is actually a smart way to avoid rude questions from people who don't want to lose their medical insurance, teenagers who don't want to be gunned down on the way to French class, Native Americans who don't want their land despoiled by the Koch brothers, DACA folks who don't want to be sent someplace where they can't speak the language, and other nuisances. Makes for such unpleasant video.
Some Republiklan legislators in South Carolina have introduced a bill calling for secession if the feddle gubmint makes any move to take away their slaves. I'm sorry, that should be "take away their guns." I get my secessions mixed up. You boys need help packing, you let me know.
It's on! Sean Hannity has embarked on a battle of wits with Jimmy Kimmel, if you can call it a battle when only one side is armed. Hannity is already losing the battle of ratings to Rachel Maddow, so he's going on the offensive. (Many people have told me she's a Big Lesbian!) Meanwhile, poor Laura Ingraham is back and virtually commercial-free, thanks to David Hogg's bullying and the Deep State. How is a hateful bitch supposed to make a living, huh?
Roger Stone says he was poisoned by Russians. The fact that he's alive to make this claim is rather suspicious, but it's supposed to prove that he and his friends Julian and Donald were definitely NO COLLUSION. Also, the sanctions on Russian oligarchs voted last year by Congress were implemented this week, giving any wide-awake oligarch ample time to move assets to the Caymans, Channel Islands, or virtually anywhere else. His courageous actions earned Trump a tongue-bath from the Lying Media, for they prove he is in no way Putin's cock-holster.
A woman who was angry about having her channel shut down entered YouTube headquarters and shot several people before killing herself. Don't worry, the video of the Warren G. Harding School's production of Cats was undamaged. No need to post it again. Really. The woman had an Islam-y type name, so theories abound as to her real purpose. These can be ignored.
If you're one of the "dumb fucks" (Mark Zuckerberg's characterization) with a Facebook account, close it. Why would you not? I believe it was Nikita Khrushchev who said, "When the time comes, the capitalists will sell us the rope to hang them with." The evidence suggests that he was wrong -- we'll give it to them, grateful for a place to post our hanging videos.
It's been that kind of week, April foolishness competing with outright madness. It all began on Easter Sunday, when Jiggs & Juggs put on a show of amity to host the White House egg hunt. Because now we can say "Happy Easter" once again, free of Sharia constraints. The assembled kids, average age six or so, were nonplussed by an improvised speech from their host about American military prowess, which is in "tippy-top" shape now, just like the building behind him, whatever it's called. (Hint: it's a house...it's white...) This was actually coherent and appropriate, compared to the Wednesday performance in Pellagra, West Virginia, which was supposed to be about taxes but quickly turned into a raging verbal evacuation about his new obsessions, rape and caravans. So much rape. Nobody has ever seen so much rape. (This will be news to women who were living in Berlin in 1945, among other, but let it go.) So troops must be sent to the border at once to stop the rapey horde and begin turning the area into a copy of the Korean demilitarized zone, only with a Wall. The Pentagon has no planning for such an operation and the governor of Oregon, to her credit, refused to send the National Guard, but it sure impressed the Mountaineers.
Oh, it gets better, or at least funnier if you have an Ambrose Bierce streak of humor. One of America's heroes unearthed an old interview with Trump Jr., in which he talks about showering with daddy and possessing at least comparable genitalia. (Dr. Freud, pick up line one, please!) That's not at all retch-inducing. I'm glad Junior enjoys showering with men. Perhaps Mr. Mueller can arrange for him to do this on a regular basis.
Blake "Bunny Pajamas" Farenthold (R-Guess) has resigned from Congress without paying back the $84,000 he owes the taxpayers for settling a sexual harassment complaint. Maybe it's enough that he's gone.
The Cowardly Ryan and a number of fellow chickenshits are holding "closed-door town halls" this week, which sounds like an oxymoron but is actually a smart way to avoid rude questions from people who don't want to lose their medical insurance, teenagers who don't want to be gunned down on the way to French class, Native Americans who don't want their land despoiled by the Koch brothers, DACA folks who don't want to be sent someplace where they can't speak the language, and other nuisances. Makes for such unpleasant video.
Some Republiklan legislators in South Carolina have introduced a bill calling for secession if the feddle gubmint makes any move to take away their slaves. I'm sorry, that should be "take away their guns." I get my secessions mixed up. You boys need help packing, you let me know.
It's on! Sean Hannity has embarked on a battle of wits with Jimmy Kimmel, if you can call it a battle when only one side is armed. Hannity is already losing the battle of ratings to Rachel Maddow, so he's going on the offensive. (Many people have told me she's a Big Lesbian!) Meanwhile, poor Laura Ingraham is back and virtually commercial-free, thanks to David Hogg's bullying and the Deep State. How is a hateful bitch supposed to make a living, huh?
Roger Stone says he was poisoned by Russians. The fact that he's alive to make this claim is rather suspicious, but it's supposed to prove that he and his friends Julian and Donald were definitely NO COLLUSION. Also, the sanctions on Russian oligarchs voted last year by Congress were implemented this week, giving any wide-awake oligarch ample time to move assets to the Caymans, Channel Islands, or virtually anywhere else. His courageous actions earned Trump a tongue-bath from the Lying Media, for they prove he is in no way Putin's cock-holster.
A woman who was angry about having her channel shut down entered YouTube headquarters and shot several people before killing herself. Don't worry, the video of the Warren G. Harding School's production of Cats was undamaged. No need to post it again. Really. The woman had an Islam-y type name, so theories abound as to her real purpose. These can be ignored.
If you're one of the "dumb fucks" (Mark Zuckerberg's characterization) with a Facebook account, close it. Why would you not? I believe it was Nikita Khrushchev who said, "When the time comes, the capitalists will sell us the rope to hang them with." The evidence suggests that he was wrong -- we'll give it to them, grateful for a place to post our hanging videos.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home