March hair

Cadet Bonespurs (thanks, Senator Duckworth) has ordered a parade to show everybody how his missiles are far biglier than Little Rocket Man's.  The juddering sound you heard last night was Jim Mattis's eyes rolling back in his skull.  And all across Blogenheim people are appalled at the United States taking another step toward May Day in Moscow.

I for one think this could be an opportunity in a number of ways.  First, the roadways and bridges of Washington would need major work before they could support military vehicles, even if tanks are excluded.  All the talk about infrastructure would finally be more than talk.  Second, Mattis has proposed to hold it on Veterans Day, when many communities already have parades; what's wrong with honoring veterans?  Their ongoing problems with PTSD, unemployment and drug addiction would have to be discussed, as well as the endless wars that create them.  November 11 is a few days after the midterm election, when I confidently expect the Republiklan to be expelled from control of Congress.  Bonespurs will be fuming about "election fraud" and his impending impeachment, while Ryan/McConnell frantically try to finish destroying American institutions before January.

And make it extra long, please, so the lazy fat slob has to stand there saluting for hours with no chance to cram in a cheeseburger, tweet racist abuse, or watch Fox.  Ten or eleven hours should do it.  With a 72-year-old prostate, how often do you suppose he needs to make wee-wee?  Let's see, twelve sodas a day, morbidly obese, and maybe some of that global-warming-enhanced Indian Summer that makes it feel like August...who's got the Depends?

Here's your parade, Cadet Bonespurs.   Enjoy.