Thursday, June 22, 2017

The Thursday quick-step

There is no recording of the conversation where Trump "hoped" Comey to back off investigating Mickey Flynn -- but we had that here almost two weeks ago.  Hah!

Bill Cosby's lawyer says he will conduct a series of seminars to teach "young people" (men) how to avoid being accused of rape.  It is not known whether the tuition will include free Quaaludes.

HBO is being sued by coal operator Bob Murray over the John Oliver show critical of his methods, including the deadly accident he blamed, without evidence, on an earthquake.  Murray's lawyer points out, a propos nothing, that he is 77 and needs a lung transplant, probably not as a result of black-lung disease.

People in wheelchairs distressed by the Double-Secret Republican Health "Care" bill were manhandled out of the corridor near Mitch McConnell's office.  Good optics for the 2018 campaign.

Trump has showered Twitter with his "thoughts" on everything from the Georgia and South Carolina special elections to his continued persecution by the "WITCH HUNT!" but has yet to utter a word about the seven sailors who died when a container ship rammed the USS Fitzgerald last weekend.  Could it possibly have been...Obama's fault?

It looks like Sean Spicer will soon leave the White House Pantomime Briefing Show and return to his first love.  By next week he will be wearing a kangaroo suit and distributing coupons for Outback Steakhouse.  This represents a promotion from rodent to marsupial.  Good luck, Sean!

Trump's bittersweet romance with China appears to be off again.  "At least I know China tried!" is how his latest tweet ended.  It is not clear whether he was referring to the Warmbier case or North Korea's continued missile tests, or possibly something else.  We also don't know if anyone has told him about the Qatar crisis, or if he understood.  Nothing like foreign policy by Magic Eightball.  But damn, that was some chocolate cake!!

Remember when Ted Nugent invited Barack Obama to suck on his assault rifle?  It was around the  time he offered to sodomize Hillary Clinton with the same versatile weapon.  Meet Ted Nugent 2017, the kinder, gentler Nuge who want to bring civility to the national conversation.  Or he needs some TV time to promote his sad oldies tour.  Whatever, he has a willing dupe in Bill Maher, who never heard of a Rightzi he didn't want to book.  Because political correctness is bad!  Next thing you know the Speech Police expect you to apologize for using the n -- oh, right, he did.*

Did you know smaller planes can't take off when the temperature hovers around 120 degrees Fahrenheit?  Did you know this is the case all over the southwest, including Phoenix?  Did you know global warming is a hoax?   Hey, look, a hurricane! 

*I am willing to be offended if it's done with wit and purpose.  This has been my comedy policy from Lenny Bruce to George Carlin and Richard Pryor and on to Chris Rock and Louis CK.  Maher's use of the word was offensive, pointless and dumb, conveying nothing but the extent to which he relies on his writers.  When he improvises, it's a disaster. 


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