Look out, here comes the Master Race

It's easy to yell "Kill him!" at a McPalin rally, or paint "KKK" across an Obama poster, but two Mid-Southerners decided to take the logical next step, according to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. They met in one of those romantic white supremacist chatrooms and decided to get together and arm themselves with a shotgun, some handguns and a .308 caliber rifle. Daniel Cowart, 20, of Bells, Tennessee, and Paul Schlesselman, 18, of West Helena, Arkansas, were going to -- well, let ATF Special Agent Brian Weaks tell it in his affidavit:

"The individuals began discussing going on a 'killing spree' that included killing 88 people and beheading 14 African-Americans. The numbers 14 and 88 have special significance within the 'White Power' movement...Schlesselman states that they planned to drive their vehicle as fast as they could toward [Senator] Obama, shooting at him from the windows. Both individuals stated they would dress in all-white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt. Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt."

It's the costumes that make me believe it. Did you get that? They were going to rev up the General Lee and aim it at that terrorist Muslim redistributor of income, guns blazing, dressed like Eleanor Powell in Born To Dance. After the massacre at the predominantly black school and the fourteen beheadings. Between now and next Tuesday, give or take, unless Daniel has to drive his mama to bingo.

If you don't use crystal meth, don't start. I'm begging you.