Monday, October 06, 2008

Unstuck in time

O.J. Simpson jurors being interviewed? The Dow under 10,000? Where am I?

Congress voted to cover Wall Street's tab, Bush signed it faster than the Save Terri Schiavo bill, and still the magic number plummeted. What more do they want? Of course, no matter how deep the plunge, those overdressed monkeys on the mezzanine were grinning and clapping at the closing bell. Who are these people and what drugs are they on?

In America, justice is a commodity, just like food, shelter, health care and education. If you can't afford it, nobody will force it on you, 'cause we love freedom. Evidently O.J. Simpson can no longer afford a battalion of attorneys and their support staffs. He had a good run, as befits a Heisman Trophy winner, but I guess it's over.

Moral absolutists who decry "situational ethics" often seem to have no such problem with situational government. After 9/11 Bush had to tear up the Constitution because it was an impediment to fighting our unprecedented new enemies; disgracefully, Congress largely let him get away with it. Rudolph Giuliani only wanted to tear up the New York City charter so he could have a third term, because there was no way the wounded city would survive without him. Well, it did. Even so, his chosen successor Michael Bloomberg now wants to do the same, because the city is desperate for his financial acumen right now, according to him. By that logic, shouldn't Warren Buffett be running for mayor? Every ego-crazed politician wants to be the guy on the white horse, but we've done all right without Cromwells and Napoleons so far. "But Lincoln suspended habeas corpus!" Yeah, some naked power grab. I'm proud that in 1864 and again in 1944, this country stopped fighting for its life long enough to hold free elections, something not even Britain can say.

As long as we're doing shout-outs, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask, "What ever became of Ann Coulter?" It's not like her to miss an election season, unless she's finishing up a new book, "How To Gut and Eat a Liberal Once You've Killed Him (If You Can Even Stand To Get That Close To His Putrescent Treasonous Corpse"). When we last heard from Annie she was demanding the repeal of the Nineteenth Amendment because so many women insist upon voting wrong, i.e., Democratic. It was an inspired bit of idiocy, almost on a par with Evelyn Waugh's remark that he never voted because it wasn't his place to tell the Queen how to choose her ministers. I wonder if she would like to change her position in the face of the Palin Juggernaut. Call me, girlfriend.

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