Monday, September 11, 2023

Clown around, find out

 Politics has come a long, sad way from even last month's Republican "debate" (actually a modified version of "Family Feud").  Trump is trying to distract, and distract himself, from his legal problems by issuing lunatic challenges.  First he wanted to debate Megan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, in his role as self-appointed defender of the British royal family.  Now he wants a brain-off against two men even older than he is, Joe Biden and Rupert Murdoch.  His stupendous ability to memorize and regurgitate five words, and to remember them five years later, demonstrates that he is completely ready to Save America.  But just in case there is any doubt, he wants to cheat play golf with them, too.

Why Murdoch?  Because he owns the Wall Street Journal, which published a poll Trump didn't like.  (Polls and television ratings are the borders of his moral universe.)  Why golf?  Because it requires "mental toughness."  Do Murdoch and Biden even play golf?  Would he like to play Barack Obama on a neutral course, with an LPGA official keeping score?  Hey, anybody got Megan Markle's number?

The cerebral event will take place right after the big Musk-Zuckerberg match and just before the House expunges both his impeachments and builds him a replica of the Taj Mahal.  (The one in Acra, not his busted flush of a casino.)  If you have any doubts about Trump's mental functioning, I refer you to the campaign event that was sidetracked by a rant about water pressure in his shower.  And the deposition about the Trump Organization that meandered off into a description of his triumphs over Kim Jong-un.  And his evident belief that he is taller and fitter than the physical evidence proves.  Or just read this:

"In a phony and probably rigged Wall Street Journal poll, coming out of nowhere to softened [sic] the mental incompetence blow that is so obvious with Crooked Joe Biden, they ask about my age and mentality...Now that the Globalists at Fox News & the WSJ have failed to push their 3rd tier candidate to success, they do this.  Well, I hereby challenge..." blah blah blah.  By the way, he got booed at a football game in Iowa, so it's time to go on the offensive. 

Of course, there's a whole party of blithering idiots backing him up.  Ron Johnson went on Globalist Fox News to proclaim that in addition to the cancer attributed to them by Trump, windmills also kill whales.  Vivek Ramaswamy has joined the crowd piling on the Fourteenth Amendment, promising to deport the children of undocumented immigrants -- hell, the whole "family unit."  Based on a "legal theory" he recently pulled out of his ass while searching for his phone.  Tim Scott's search is over -- he reported to Fox News the existence of "a wonderful girlfriend" and that "God has blessed me with a smart, Christian woman."  Nice work, Christian Mingle!  Scott preaches abstinence before marriage, so at 57 he is the oldest virgin in the Senate.  Tommy Tuberville continues to hamstring the military but has found a defender in Nikki Haley, who says the Defense Department left him no option with its pro-choice policy.  (She didn't mention the poems on the carriers.)  I haven't even gotten to the House but I'm pretty sure "person, woman, man, camera, TV" would defeat them.  (Jordan is still working his way through Fani Willis's letter and has almost reached the ketchup-flinging stage.)  

If nobody wants to play golf or remember five words, there's always the spicy chip challenge.  You first, Donald.



Post a Comment

<< Home