Wednesday, March 08, 2023

What rhymes with "Tucker"?

 If I ever start my own polity -- it's all the rage but mine will be a nice one -- our first act will be to contract with Dominion Voting Systems to run our elections.  Not only do they do good work, but their lawyers are the baddest of badasses.  They go for the groin like honey badgers.

I finished reading excerpts from their latest release of Fox News depositions and -- well, if I were a smoker that would have been the moment for a cigarette.  We already knew the contempt the on-air talent has for its audience, the dilemma all journalists face -- report the facts and risk alienating the audience who desperately needed to be told Trump had won Arizona and all the other states, and maybe depress the stock price, or go on being Fox News?  It was such a red-hot poker that it went all the way up to the Proprietor himself and Rupert told them to -- tell the truth, at least about Arizona.  All hell broke loose, as Milton would say.  They tried to make amends by giving airtime to every election-denying conspiracy monger from Pillow Mike to Kraken Sidney to Trump himself, which is why Dominion is suing for defamation.  They spent years portraying the Trump coup as a bunch of peaceful patriots taking in the sights on January 6, 2021, climaxing with the dirty deal that made Kevin Squeaker of the House in exchange for handing over security footage to Tucker Carlson exclusively in furtherance of the lie.  And he actually used it, prompting Dominion to release more gold, this time proving conclusively that it isn't only Meemaw and Bubba, those wonderful people out there in the dark, that the Fox crew despises and laughs at.

They hate Donald Trump.

January 4, 2021, text message, Tucker Carlson to his producer Alex Pfeiffer:  "We are very, very close to being able to ignore Trump most nights.  I truly can't wait.  I hate him passionately.  We're all pretending we've got a lot to show for [Trump's four years] because admitting what a disaster it's been is too tough to digest.  But come on.  There really isn't an upside to Trump."  

Pfeiffer to Carlson:  "One [sic] the bright side, Trump has a pretty low rate at success in his business ventures."

Carlson to Pfeiffer:  "All of them fail.  What he's good at is destroying things...He could easily destroy us if we play it wrong.  It's so obvious."

As of Monday night, Trump had not destroyed Fox.  He was the biggest cheerleader for Carlson's expurgated January 6 Capitol love-fest:  "GREAT JOB BY TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT.  The Unselect Committee of political Hacks & Thugs has been totally discredited...They should be tried for Fraud and Treason" etc., etc.  Who's monitoring Ministry of Truth Social today?  

You have to admire Carlson's commitment.  He was still attacking the handful of Republican Senators who expressed disapproval of Monday night's show.  He accused them of endorsing censorship.  He practically called them RINOs.  Oh, really? said Dominion's lawyers.  Watch this.

I hate him passionately.  

But Tucker, you were instrumental in getting him elected.  You licked his little shoes for four years.  You slandered and defamed his opponents.  You had plenty of help from Hannity, Ingraham, Bartiromo and the rest but it's your weird cackle we remember.  

I hate him passionately.

It lingers in the ear, doesn't it?  Like Duke Ellington's famous sign-off, "We love you madly."  Tucker has to be wondering what will happen when his real opinion of Vladimir Putin becomes public.  I can't wait to find out.

Who's on ketchup clean-up at Mar a Lago today?


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