Slow news day

 According to some Tory tattletale, Boris Johnson uttered the words "Fuck the Americans" and the Independent was there.  That's it.  Sir Robert Buckland, one of many ex-chancellors, was trying to get Trump Lite to be reasonable about the bollocks he made of the Northern Ireland border arrangements and the ex-PM was exasperated.  He'll have to do better than that if he wants to upset Dark Brandon, who's coming off twin victories against the House Howler Monkeys and the Russians.  Maybe next month.  

As Biden well knows, it's easier when they step on themselves, preferably in writing.  Our next exhibit is the reliably stupid Margie Twelve-toes, tweeting, "6 Billion people illegally crossed our border since Biden took office, but Ukraine's border is the only one that matters to Washington."  That's a lot of people to bus to Martha's Vineyard.  Margie also believes a school in Illinois got $5.1 billion for a "diversity program."  Also, the world is six thousand years old.  As Barbie used to say, "Math class is hard!"

Before you order a ball-tanning machine from Carlson Industries, read this:  Chinese researchers have published a study in Acta Endicrinol which says high doses of Coke and Pepsi can increase testicular size in mice.  So far all they've got are mice with huge balls, but China being China I'm sure Uyghur volunteers are being recruited.  It certainly explains Trump's boundless virility and baggy trousers.

Canada seems like a nice place, eh?  America's upstairs neighbor who never complains about the noise?  Think again.  Canada gave us colorized movies, subtitled opera and William Shatner, and it's poised to cross the border with SUPER PIGS..  The result of liaisons between domestic pigs and wild boars, the super pig is described as "incredibly intelligent, highly elusive," and able to survive the cold by burrowing under snow.  They eat crops and animals, carry viruses, pollute water, and can weigh up to five hundred pounds.  Their nemesis, Ryan Brook of the University of Saskatchewan, says, "Wild pigs are easily the worst invasive large mammal on the planet."  And what is Joe Biden doing to protect our border?  Nothing!

The Guardian analyzed the numbers and determined that there is a chemical accident here every other day, on average.  The red dots are last year's events and the blue are from the last two months.  Congratulations, Wyoming, Utah and New Mexico, you're doing something right.  The rest of y'all, I wouldn't worry about the pigs.