Wednesday, May 25, 2022



"What happened in Uvalde is a horrific tragedy that cannot be tolerated in the state of Texas," said Greg Abbott, governor, with his actual mouth, hours after urging Texans to "pick up the pace" and buy guns at a faster rate than hated libtard California.  Salvador Ramos was bullied, liked video games, fought with his mother (who apparently had drug problems) and did badly in school, so clearly it's not Abbott's fault, or the NRA's fault, or the Republicans' fault, that he easily acquired two assault rifles and enough ammunition to kill nineteen children and two teachers, wounding a number of others.  He was eighteen, the sales were legal, and he was in America, where the tree of liberty must be Sequoia-size by now.

Nothing to see here.

"When I watch from afar and see events such as this today, it's not as a politician.  I see them just as a mother," said Jacinda Ardern, prime minister of New Zealand, where assault rifles and semi-automatic weapons have been banned since 2019.  

"Deeply saddened by the news of the murder of innocent children in Texas," wrote Volodymyr Zelenskyy, president of Ukraine, taking time out from the invasion of his country.

"You're doing nothing.  You're all doing nothing," said Beto O'Rourke to a collection of Texas dignitaries before being thrown out of their press conference.  Apparently he was "out of order."  Then a reporter asked why Abbott went to a fundraiser within hours of the massacre.  He didn't get much of an answer.

"Thank you to the local first responders working on the scene," said Marsha Blackburn, a senator known for her compassion.

"What I like to do is see it and everything and stuff," said Herschel Walker, freshly anointed candidate for the Senate, when asked about new gun laws.  He'll fit right in with Blackburn.

Joe Biden called on Congress to pass "common sense gun laws," which Laura Ingraham found "despicable."

Empty Greene agreed:  "We don't need more [sic] gun control.  We need to return to gawd."

The interstellar cockroach from the planet Gosar went further, calling Ramos "a transsexual leftist illegal alien."  Two hours later the tweet vanished, but the cockroach is still here.

Trump said nothing.  He is still pitying himself because Mo Brooks, Brian Kemp and Brad Raffensperger won their primaries despite his hatred.  This kind of impotence is impervious to Viagra.

Steve Kerr said "I ask you, Mitch McConnell...are you going to put your own desire for power ahead of the lives of our children and our elderly and our churchgoers?  Because that's what it looks like."  A basketball coach makes more sense than half the Congress and most of the states.  

The Indiana legislature had no comment, as they were busy preventing transgender females from competing in girls sports.  Priorities.


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