Thursday, November 08, 2018


Why would Trump decide to hold a press conference yesterday?  He looked and sounded like he found Nixon's forty-five-year-old stash of Dilantin and swallowed a dozen before Kelly wrestled the bottle away.  Why would anybody hold a press conference if he didn't want to answer questions from the press?  What did he expect, compliments and early Christmas greetings?

Maybe the stable genius was distracted by thoughts of all those House committees getting Democratic chairs with subpoena powers.  What if they get hold of his tax returns, which have been "under audit" for longer than it took to translate Gilgamesh?  Has Kelly fired the dumb Southerner  yet?  Is it safe to go back to the office?  Golf...mmmm…..

So when Jim Acosta brought up the Russians, he was treading on an inflamed bunion.  Normally Trump would only have to say "enemy of the people" and Acosta would be roughed up by a bunch of MAGA-hatted patriots, but the room was filled with enemies of the people.  All Trump could do was denounce his rudeness and order an intern to grab the microphone.  She tried, and in the ensuing struggle was assaulted and thrown to the floor, suffering probably whiplash at least, according to Huckabee Sanders and some doctored video.  Sane people saw Acosta brush her arm as she grabbed.  Only Peter Alexander of ABC came to Acosta's defense.  No one came to Yamiche Alcindor's defense when she asked Trump to distance himself from white nationalism; he pronounced her a "racist" for bringing it up.  And April Ryan got only, "Sit down, I didn't call you."  So much for the uppity women.  "Why do I have the highest poll numbers ever with African Americans?" Trump asked rhetorically, and the answer is, "Those were Teabaggers wearing blackface for Halloween."

After that, it got weird.  Three-fifths of a Man Sessions was fired/resigned, and was replaced by an interim goon who has been given a picture of Robert Mueller with a rifle-sight superimposed on it.    "If Jeff Sessions is fired there will be holy hell to pay," said Lindsey Graham.   Does hell take American Express?

Of all the democracies, the United States is the most uncoordinated when it comes to elections, so at midday Thursday we still don't have all the results.  The Secretary of State of Georgia has just resigned, finally agreeing that he should not be involved in counting the votes.  More likely he has run out of ways to jimcrow the election -- the voting machines that arrived in one predominantly black precinct without power cords was an especially creative touch -- and feels good about his narrow lead holding up.  In other news...

MONTANA -- the gigantic state with just one Representative, Greg "Bodyslam" Gianforte, re-elected Jon Tester to the Senate, despite no less than four Trumpsapaloozas for his opponent.  (By way of contrast, not one hate rally in populous California or New York.)

NEVADA -- Democrat, don't let the sun go down on you in the 36th Assembly District.  Dennis Hof won in spite of being dead for a month.  Better a dead brothel owner than a live Democrat, I guess.  Yet Jackie Rosen (D) defeated Dean Heller (R) for the Senate.

TEXAS -- You ran a good race, Beto, and I'm fucking proud of you, too.  Look at it this way:  the other Republicans will have another six years of Ted Cruz, who is almost as popular as genital warts.

MASSACHUSETTS -- an easy victory for Elizabeth Warren, and Ayanna Pressley becomes the state's first African American Congresswoman, the seat once held by John F. Kennedy I believe.

WISCONSIN -- No more Scott Walker!

CALIFORNIA -- No more Dana Rohrabacher!

FLORIDA -- once again, you embarrass us.  But at least the state's residents with a felony conviction, over a million of them, may have their voting rights restored.  So that's something.  DeSantis taking away your healthcare is punishment enough, I guess.  Classiest move of the week was Andrew Gillum suspending his campaign after the yoga studio murders and not whining about lost "momentum."  

This has been called the Rainbow Wave.  First Muslim Congresswoman (Rashida Tlaib of Michigan), first Somali-American (Ilhan Omar, Minnesota), two Native American women (Deb Haaland of New Mexico and Sharice Davids of Kansas), and Jared Polis in Colorado, the first openly gay governor in the country.  Democrats will be embraced to the extent that they embrace diversity.  It isn't a dirty word.

Trump calls this "a very Big Win."  Wait till he starts getting subpoenas from the new House chairs:  Jerrold Nadler (Judiciary), Elijah Cummings (Government Oversight), Adam Schiff (Intelligence), Richard Neal (Ways and Means).  There isn't one he hasn't smeared.  But I would prefer that "Low IQ Maxine Waters" not become head of the Banking Committee.  Now is the hour for a wartime consigliere.  Try this on and tell me what you think:  Speaker Waters.  Could you love it?  Remember the third debate, when Trump lumbered up behind Hillary Clinton and breathed down her neck?  Now picture him stumbling through a State of the Union message with Aunt Maxine's eyes boring into the back of his preposterous head.

I'm going to picture it for a while.      



Blogger MarkS said...

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6:14 PM  

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