Wednesday, March 14, 2018

So much winning, continued

Conor Lamb

Trump loves to campaign, if by "campaign" you mean rave incoherently before crowds of carefully-chosen well-wishers equipped with MAGA hats and glossy signs.  He says he wants to spend four or five days a week "campaigning" in the weeks before the midterm elections.  (After convincing Kim Jong-un to turn his country into a theme park, of course.)  You know who hopes he will?  Democrats like this man, Rep.-elect Conor Lamb of Pennsylvania, improbably elected in a district gerrymandered to look like a CPAC convention.  Takes a nice picture, too, as my grandmother used to say.  Pavarotti never sang a program of Puccini arias as thrillingly as Donzo belted out his greatest hits, including "Pocahontas," "Low --- I---Q Maxine Waters," and perennial encore "Obama Obama Obama."  He had some new tunes:  "I Saved the Olympics," "Very Painful for Oprah," and the novelty number "I Went to School In Pennsylvania."  And he even mentioned Lamb's opponent in the soulful ballad "I Think He's Handsome."  Lamb won anyway.

After insulting his wife and his father and making him answer phones like a quasi-celebrity at a telethon, the least Trump can do is "campaign" for Ted Cruz in Texas.  Please.


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