Sunday, November 20, 2016

Curtain up

First, I know the Stormtrumpers are not the sharpest knives, but surely even they can see that there is little point in boycotting a show you can't get tickets to.  Whether it's "Hamilton" or the Super Bowl, who will notice if you refuse to show up?

Second, why would a viciously homophobic politician go to "Hamilton," or indeed any musical, unless he wanted to get booed and stir up the rage monkeys at Fox, atop Trump Tower, and elsewhere, thus provoking a crackdown on protest and "incivility"?  It's not exactly setting fire to the Reichstag, but we may one day look back on it as an opening chapter.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

I, for one, welcome our new orange overlord

Was it only a week ago?  I was idly wondering what sort of Secretary of State Joe Biden would make, a contrast to the urbane, French-speaking Kerry.  Now I'm thinking, OK, put Sarah Palin in the Cabinet, just don't give Numbnipples a job with access to the Situation Room.  See how little it takes to make me happy?  Maybe "calm" is a better word.

And that can be her Secret Service code name.  I have others.  For the Trumps, obviously, Deadbeat and Pornstar.  For the Pences, Godbotherer and Handmaid.  (I assume there is a Mrs. Pence; I don't think I've ever seen her.  But if she exists, she certainly subscribes to the Nazi definition of a woman's proper sphere:  Kuche, Kirche, Kinder.  The other KKK.)  The Three Blind Trustees can be Greasy, Sleazy and Morticia, while Gingrich and Giuliani are unquestionably Fat Man and Little Boy, apt to set off a chain reaction which could ignite the atmosphere.  Rinse Priapus Reince Priebus has to be Putzi.  He just looks like a Putzi.

Some folks here in Blogenheim  want to believe the Electoral College will save us, and have started an online petition asking that it respect the popular vote, but that has never happened and never will.  Expecting a reprieve from the Electoral College is like expecting an education from Trump University (see what I did there?).  It will thwart democracy as it did in 1876 and 2000, as it was designed to do by the Fathers (all hail!).  Sorry about all the parentheses, but I'm severely medicated. 

And before I head back to the couch, an observation:  We don't have a parliamentary system and we can't afford twee little parties and vanity candidates like Jill Stein.  They appeal to a type of voter I call the mandarin:  "I'm special, and my vote is special, and I want to send a message with my vote, so if I can't vote for someone who exactly fits my specifications" -- this is for you, too, Bernie bros -- "I just won't bother."  Maybe you weren't listening when Max Brooks said, "This election is not about apples or oranges.  It's about apples or your house burns down."  How do you like the charred rubble, you spoiled children?  Yes, Hillary Clinton was a "flawed candidate."  They all are.  You want flawless, vote for Francis of Assisi.  He was born in Italy and he's been dead for six hundred years, but he never took a favor from the King of Morocco. 

A wormy apple or an orange fascist.  That was the only choice, and we blew it.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Strangers together


I never knew so many people hated America.

And now I get to be one of them.

Monday, November 07, 2016

Laughter in the dark

As the most miserable presidential campaign in US history shudders to a close, someone decided that we could use a good laugh.  And so Trump spokesmodel Scottie Nell Hughes was sent forth to complain about Jay-Z, who performed at a Clinton event in Ohio over the weekend.  Specifically, she objected to a video in which someone can be seen throwing a "Mazel tov cocktail" at police.  I haven't laughed so hard since Michele Bachmann attempted to pronounce "chutzpah."  Of course, Ms. Hughes looks like Sarah Palin if she put on a blonde wig, lost the glasses and went all-in on  mascara, so who knows?  Folks of a certain age undoubtedly thought of Gilda Radner's Emily Litella.  This made us happier than considering the grim implications of a campaign which has made anti-Semitism bloom like red algae.  Grimmer still, two police officers were murdered in Des Moines last week, allegedly by a man who had been ejected from a football game for waving a Confederate flag.  (Like most white Christian terrorists he was found to have mental problems and hospitalized -- complete with room service, as Trump would say.)

Let's see, what else?  There was the big Trump "assassination attempt," when a man armed with a "Republicans against Trump" sign invaded a rally in Reno and was attacked, physically, by the mob.  Trump was put at greater risk by the Secret Service, who hustled him away after someone yelled, "Gun!"  It's dangerous to make a fat old man move that fast.  The day before, President Obama had given a superb lesson in how to deal with a protester at his rally, quieting the booing crowd and urging respect for the right of free speech.  What a wimp.  Nobody respects him, not Putin, not Kim, not Duterte.  Yet I just saw a poll where 49 percent of Americans said they would vote for Obama if he were allowed a third term.  All polls are rigged. 

An actual case of voter fraud has been identified!  A woman in Iowa tried to vote twice, after the voices in her head told her that her vote (for Trump, of course) would automatically be changed to one for Clinton. 

Every responsible poll shows Clinton ahead -- I don't believe it will be close -- and the stock market is rebounding with relief.  The capitalists don't have much use for Donnie Deadbeat and his tax cuts for the rich.  Curious.

Janet Reno has died at 78.  I'm sorry she won't see the first woman president.  I hope she voted.

This madness can't end soon enough for fans of Keith Olbermann, whose commentary at the GQ website (available on YouTube) has grown angrier and more strident, causing us to worry about his blood pressure.  Today's episode features an unprecedented number of f-bombs.  Keith, lie on a beach, join a yoga class, breathe, man.   It's over and you helped us get through it.

MSNBC has decided we need a crawl listing all presidents and their dates.  CNN is calling its show "Election Night In America," unavoidably invoking the longer-running "Hockey Night In Canada."  Meanwhile, no American media outlet has done anything as good as the Toronto Star's interactive Database of Trump Falsehoods (polite Canadian term for lies).  Check it out, it's awesome. 


Wednesday, November 02, 2016

It begins

"Last Tuesday night the Hopewell Missionary Baptist Church in Greenville, Mississippi, caught fire.  When fire crews arrived to put out the blaze, they found that the words 'Vote Trump' had been spray-painted on the side of the historic black church."  (Posted by Zack Ford at

But please, tell us more about Bill Clinton's pardon of Marc Rich in 2001.