Thursday, November 08, 2007

Uncle Sam meets Monsieur de Paris

Now that Bush and Sarkozy have taken to each other like fraternite boys, I know a way the Roberts Court can avoid the doubtless distasteful business of staying executions on the grounds of cruel and unusual punishment. If you're looking for a quick and painless way for the state to kill people, you just can't improve on Madame Guillotine. The short sharp shock avoids all that thrashing about that discomfits the witnesses who are forced to watch the condemned being slowly poisoned, while licensed physicians tinker with the valves and try to forget they took an oath that begins, "First, do no harm." No physician required, just a knife grinder (try finding one of those in these Ginsu days!) and a carefully positioned basket. Oh, and a lot of painter's dropcloths, because the carotid tends to pump for a few seconds after the head falls off. Or so I have read. They haven't been much in use since the Third Reich went out of business. Simple design, though, and really inexpensive (the good Christian people of Texas may be in line for a substantial tax cut!). And if the current detente continues, we may never have to re-name it the Freedom Hatchet.


Blogger Generik said...

And -- the one thing you forgot to mention, but which is absolutely essential in making it the quintessential American executainment spectacle -- think of the ratings! They'd be through the roof!

I smell a head-rolling Fox Channel sweeps-month deathtravaganza!

11:01 PM  

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