A nation is shocked

 The otherwise airtight case against the Biden Gang was derailed today when Rudolph Giuliani announced the death of the Whistleblower.  Under thuthpithiouth thircumthtanceth.  She was the Burisma bookkeeper and the bribe was ten million, not the five million we'd been told about all this time, and probably she was killed by Joe Biden or Volodymyr Zelenskyy or somebody else.  So that's that.  Sorry.

Was Jamie Raskin gaslighting when he asked the FBI to explain why its information is so wildly different from the insinuations coming out of the House Overlook Committee?  Did he kill the unfortunate bookkeeper?  Does he know who did?  We demand answers!  Don't we?

Perhaps the whistle was poisoned.

Also afraid for his life is completely serious presidential candidate and dead whisperer Robert Kennedy, Jr.  He says he's "gotta be careful" to avoid being assassinated by the CIA because of the grave threat he poses to Joe Biden.  "I'm not stupid and I take precautions."  Oh, Bob, how much heroin did you do back in the day?

I'm sorry, it's been a long week and I can feel myself getting silly.  The right has a new martyr in Alexander McCaskill, who was dumped by Fox News just because he captioned Trump's latest arraignment "WANNABE DICTATOR SPEAKS AT THE WHITE HOUSE AFTER HAVING HIS POLITICAL RIVAL ARRESTED," completely fair and balanced (Biden did not address Trump's charges under the Espionage Act).  McCaskill used to produce the Tucker Carlson White Power Hour and Tuckoo is particularly incensed.  It's just possible that Fox is trying to limit its legal liability, especially since McCaskill is named in Abby Grossberg's harassment lawsuit.  It would be wrong of me to speculate.  Anyway, he's all yours now, Newsmax.

Hey, most of Miami, you missed a swell post-arraignment blowout at Versailles yesterday.  Actually not so much.  There was a group prayer and a spirited rendition of "Feliz cumpleanos" and then the birthday boy shouted "Food for everyone!"  He's not a bit demented, he knows what restaurants deal in.  But he didn't stay because there's little Cuban food that doesn't require chewing.  He also didn't pick up the check, but that shouldn't surprise anyone familiar with the short-fingered vulgarian.  So don't call him "Donnie Dine & Dash" because that would be hurtful.  I'm guessing the wait staff got stiffed.

E. Jean Carroll's next lawsuit against Trump is scheduled for January, but sources tell us that the defendant will present a surprise alibi witness.  This person (identity hidden for now to protect against the Whistleblower killers) will testify that while Carroll was being assaulted in Bergdorf-Goodman, Trump was raping someone else in Bloomingdale's.  Complete exoneration!  Donate now!  

Jack Teixeira, late of the Massachusetts Air National Guard, was indicted on Thursday, too -- the charges are illegal retention and transmission of national defense information.  If that sounds familiar, it's the same section of the Espionage Act that Trump violated (I have to say allegedly).  Wouldn't it be fun if they wound up sharing a cell?  Allegedly.

The best feature of all is that we could have avoided this.  Months ago Trump's lawyers -- Howe and Hummel or whoever they were then -- wanted to approach the Justice Department about some kind of settlement.  The client wouldn't hear of it, probably because he'd have to hand back all his classified "mementos."  And now Jim Trusty has quit, citing "irreconcilable differences," which I always thought was grounds for divorce.  Never mind.  Trump told us he knew more than "his" generals.  He knew more about viruses than Anthony Fauci.  He knew more about everything than the losers in his Cabinet.  Now he can know more about the law than real lawyers.  Do public defenders have much latitude in the cases they accept?